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#414857 - 10/31/12 01:06 PM Re: a deep hole - how do you fill it? [Re: phoenix321]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
moved


Edited by phoenix321 (10/31/12 01:08 PM)
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#414860 - 10/31/12 01:12 PM Re: a deep hole - how do you fill it? [Re: phoenix321]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1402
Loc: California
We have the power to choose our responses and reactions to our circumstances, and therefore, can influence our circumstances.

The definition of insanity (I prefer dysfunctional):

Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#414862 - 10/31/12 01:21 PM Re: a deep hole - how do you fill it? [Re: phoenix321]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/Emotional-Health/Christians-Take-Depression-Seriously.aspx

Christians: Take Depression Seriously

Years ago, a student of mine tried to explain that he had been too depressed to study and asked to be excused from a scheduled exam. I blew him off, telling him to get over it. Only hours afterward, he jumped to his death from a high-rise apartment building. The young man left behind a suicide note telling his parents that he just couldn’t endure the sadness that had been torturing his soul.

Never again would I take depression lightly. In religious circles, depression is often deemed to be a spiritual condition that can be cured with prayer. In many situations, those who suffer from depression are criticized for a lack of faith and told that if only they would yield to an infilling of the Holy Spirit, they would know “the joy of the Lord."


Edited by phoenix321 (10/31/12 01:23 PM)
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

Top
#414869 - 10/31/12 01:45 PM Re: a deep hole - how do you fill it? [Re: phoenix321]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2577
My experience thus far is that most churches are utterly unequipped to do anything but pray for those with physical illnesses and issues. Anything else and they just tell you to pray more, trust God more, etc.

Recently had a moron tell me that if a 12 step program didn't work for me, then I was doing it wrong..... I felt like reaching through my screen, through the internet, and out his just so I could bitch slap him for being a moron.

But as that was physically impossible, I just ignore the SOB while I rolled my eyes. People like that aren't worth the energy.

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#414881 - 10/31/12 03:20 PM Re: a deep hole - how do you fill it? [Re: JustScott]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: JustScott
My experience thus far is that most churches are utterly unequipped to do anything but pray for those with physical illnesses and issues. Anything else and they just tell you to pray more, trust God more, etc.

Recently had a moron tell me that if a 12 step program didn't work for me, then I was doing it wrong..... I felt like reaching through my screen, through the internet, and out his just so I could bitch slap him for being a moron.

But as that was physically impossible, I just ignore the SOB while I rolled my eyes. People like that aren't worth the energy.


Scott,

Been my experience. I don't know if it's just ignorance or a refusal to do anything. Probably both. I get ya on the 12 step thing. Ridiculous. I got the judging assholes who said, "must not know Jesus if depressed." You know why some judge those with problems (besides ignorance--which is some, too), because they dont want to help just give generic talking points. They were also the first ones that wanted to talk my ear off with their problems. Sheesh! With friends like that, we don't need enemies, Scott.


Edited by phoenix321 (10/31/12 03:27 PM)
Edit Reason: add
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

Top
#415014 - 11/01/12 07:02 PM Re: a deep hole - how do you fill it? [Re: phoenix321]
ALIVE 3n1 Offline


Registered: 12/24/11
Posts: 76
Loc: Throne Room of God
Phoenix,

Please accept my humblest apologies. I should have read the previous posts better. I read the "God shaped hole" in one of the posts and did not read your follow up reply as well as I should have. I then prescribed that phrase to my responses. I am sorry for attempting to answer the question with the wrong answers.

In my humble imagination I would like to think of all of us as sitting around a campfire attempting to support each other in our struggles with CSA. In no way do I wish to cause another person to stumble with any of my responses. The medium that we are doing this in is not conducive to the emotions that we try to communicate.

I completely agree with you and Scott on the stance of some churches. I had to tell my whole story in front of 30 some elders at a cold legalistic church. In the next meeting I was told by the elder, that was representing me, that I was going to be "figuratively" crucified and that I could not do anything since we had left the church. Well, long story short God placed me in a church of repentant misfits that have budgeted money for the mental health of the congregation. The staff does the light work but they know when they are out of their depth and allow the member to pick the counseling that they want to go to. This includes psychologists, therapists and psychiatrists.

I hope and pray that you find the support you are looking for.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Alive

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#415040 - 11/02/12 12:37 AM Re: a deep hole - how do you fill it? [Re: ALIVE 3n1]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Originally Posted By: ALIVE 3n1
Phoenix,

Please accept my humblest apologies. I should have read the previous posts better. I read the "God shaped hole" in one of the posts and did not read your follow up reply as well as I should have. I then prescribed that phrase to my responses. I am sorry for attempting to answer the question with the wrong answers.

In my humble imagination I would like to think of all of us as sitting around a campfire attempting to support each other in our struggles with CSA. In no way do I wish to cause another person to stumble with any of my responses. The medium that we are doing this in is not conducive to the emotions that we try to communicate.

I completely agree with you and Scott on the stance of some churches. I had to tell my whole story in front of 30 some elders at a cold legalistic church. In the next meeting I was told by the elder, that was representing me, that I was going to be "figuratively" crucified and that I could not do anything since we had left the church. Well, long story short God placed me in a church of repentant misfits that have budgeted money for the mental health of the congregation. The staff does the light work but they know when they are out of their depth and allow the member to pick the counseling that they want to go to. This includes psychologists, therapists and psychiatrists.

I hope and pray that you find the support you are looking for.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Alive


Alive,

Thank you so much. I accept your apology. :-)

Wow, what a church you found. The ones here, except Catholic and those like it like Luteran, are mostly (not all I'm sure) interested in one thing--signing you up and begging for money cause they overspent on their big, pretty church building they couldn't afford. There is also a few churches with questionable teachings and at least 2 that act like a cult. One has a self-described "apostle". Yes, he claims to be an "apostle". Maybe he is, and most likely he ain't. Makes me giggle, well, ROFLMAO! Except for the two or three churches that let AA/NA use a meeting room or two, there is pretty much NO support groups of any kind other than religious stuff. You would think there would be at least rape support groups for women all over and there's zero save the Salvation Army. Kinda says it all about where their priorities are, doesn't it? This area has tons of domestic violence (above the average I'm told) and it is a poor area is why I say that. Catholic Social Services keeps saying they want to bring counseling like they have in two of the four other cities they serve, but even then they charge.

People invariably say, well, start a group. Experience, bitter experience, has taught me that is a very lonely road where you do all the work, spend all your money and get fucked for doing it. No thank you. I ain't got the emotional health anyway. So, you are lucky. You found a rare one that meets the needs of people and doesn't just do church. They all should be doing that not worrying about basketball courts, million dollar acoustic tile, etc., etc., etc. Pitiful. -Phoenix
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

Top
#415063 - 11/02/12 09:19 AM Re: a deep hole - how do you fill it? [Re: phoenix321]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2577
Quote:
They all should be doing that not worrying about basketball courts, million dollar acoustic tile, etc., etc., etc. Pitiful.


Ding Ding Ding! You've got the correct answer!

I agree 500%!!!

We have a man who comes to our church on occasion, his name is Woody Wolfe. Years ago he walked away from a comfy job, and now lives off the kindness of others as a missionary offering comfort to terminally ill children. He literally drives all over to visit hospital and sings (plays the guitar) and offers comfort as he can, and his work and ministry is totally amazing.

Anyway, all that to say, he told us once (and we'll get to the REALLY funny part in a moment) while visiting our church (we support his ministry) a story about visiting another church, where the BIG issue there was that they had one projector and one screen that covered their cross on the wall when it was done, and the people in the church thought that was just horrible, so they were raising money to buy a 2nd projector and another screen so they could have 1 on each side of the church and not cover the cross...... he was actually asked by the pastor if HE wanted to donate........ they needed 9600 bucks.....

So he goes on then to tell us about visiting Russia and helping out at orphanages and youth homes that were setup to get kids off the streets. He shared how many of the children in these homes, if they didn't have the home would be out on the street and most of them would be bought and used for sex just so the kid could get enough food to stay alive.......

So then he went back to the point of the original story, and told us that many of the youth centers were in danger of shutting down... which would put all those kids back out on the street.... He told us, and told us that he told the pastor of this church who wanted him to donate to their projector fund... that 9600 bucks would be enough to keep one center open and fully funded for 3 years!!!!! So while this church was raising money because they just couldn't have their cross covered.... centers were closing and children were back in harms way to be used and violated and many die due to the various STD's etc they invariably get.

Oh, I mentioned the funny part.... Woody had no way of knowing as he spoke that story, that in our church at that very moment, there was a HUGE stink going on because OUR ONE projector and screen covered the cross on the wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So what happened...... well we now have 2 projectors and 2 screens......

Ok, guess that's not funny.

I find that the "church" in america is purely by name only. We, by and large, resemble NOTHING of what you see in the "church" in the book of Acts.

I've encountered a few "apostle" types before.... My understanding (and it's Bible based right from the first years after Christ! Just read the writing of Paul himself) of being an "Apostle" is that they were someone who was 1. Chosen by God for the specific task of proclaiming the Gospel. 2. Had physically SEEN the risen Christ.

So while this "apostle" fellow may be about preaching the Gospel.... I have a hard time believing that Jesus physically appeared before him.

In Paul's writing he defended himself as an "Apostle" many times because many insisted he couldn't be, but he makes clear that Jesus did indeed physically appear before him on the road to Damascus AND was given the specific task of taking the Gospel to the Gentile (non-hebrew) people.

Anyway, all this doesn't touch on that deep hole/God shaped hole deal.

I went back the read the posts in the thread to make sure I knew what had been said already.... I do believe, just be seeing a huge and drastic difference in the Phoenix I saw when you first came to MS, to the one I see now, I do believe that "God Shaped" hole has been filled.

I know from personal experience and the fact that I still feel like swill cheese, that there are OTHER holes in our lives. Holes from our wounds, neglect, abuse. Some I think we create ourselves as we try to strive and fill various holes in any way we can just because they hurt so much.

I know and I've learned that only God can fill all those other holes and bring healing. Although it's not always in the way we think it'll happen or on the timetable we want. I've been praying for many many years for a relationship of some sort where I could trust enough to be able to really open my heart and share anything and everything.....

The answer so far (and this was just recently figured out sadly) is all this time I've been struggling with it, God's been trying to get me to trust Him first and foremost. I need to trust Him to heal me, to bring whatever it is I need into my life when I need it, and to trust that He knows better than I do the proper order and proper time to put all those pieces back together.

Easy? No.... I want to scream and break things most days.... just like a little child who wants it his way right away. :-)

I thank God for His wonderful grace and patience. I'd have lost it long ago if it was one of my kids for sure.

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#415076 - 11/02/12 11:32 AM Re: a deep hole - how do you fill it? [Re: JustScott]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Scott,

That is what most churches worry about--the experience like watching a Taylor Swift (love her stuff) concert. That's why I don't watch them on TV (that and the begging for money 24/7 - 'PLEASE, SEND YOUR DONATION SO WE CAN CONTINUE TO BEG FOR YOUR CASH. I NEED A NEW WING ON MY AIRPORT!!! LOL).

I don't watch TBN on principle since that old guy had sex (RAPED!) with an underage boy and paid him off $350,000 approx. If that stuff helps people on tv, that's cool. Not my thing. The church with the Apostle is the cultish one here. They all have the name on their cars and if you ask them where they go, they all say, "I go to the <NAME>!" Not putting my location in public. Too many also tie any help to membership. Few work together.

There is nothing wrong with a nice church building if you are meeting the community's needs. If your pastor is preaching about tithes every other week in an ultra-modern building, something is wrong. Churches that meet the needs of the community in which they serve I don't think have money problems often just rarely. The Catholic Church is having money problems because all their sinning.

God knocked Paul off his camel. Paul was single, not because he had to be, but because all his sinning. God didn't care, Paul couldn't forgive himself. His deal of getting Christians to deny Christ then kill them was the chief sin of his. So, he traveled far and wide to bring more in as his own penance. We are not meant to be single. Eunuchs are very, very rare. Just look at all the child rape going on in the RC and see that that singlehood is baloney. Get married or burn, the Bible says.
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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