Newest Members
BCtejas, JHNebraska, mike42069, JACKL, Personman
12491 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
mrwhiskers (25), SouthernLaw (41), TerryT (61)
Who's Online
1 registered (don64), 26 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12491 Members
74 Forums
64159 Topics
447740 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#414565 - 10/28/12 03:16 PM all over the place ***vent warning***
Mel78 Offline


Registered: 10/26/12
Posts: 16
Loc: North Carolina
Everything I do seems to be wrong. I made a gesture today as a resolution to an issue he through at me. My thought behind it, was honest and peace driven and he was upset about it. He had previously told me that it was something that bothered him. So I got rid of it. I was wrong....again.

I love him unconditionally but why am I the enemy? I miss him. Sometimes I wish I could be void of my feelings the way he is. I am so emotionally driven that I have to force myself to think logically. He thinks I'm wrong about that too.

ugh....

thanks for letting me vent....
_________________________
Everything rides on hope now, everything rides on faith some how, when the world has broken me down YOUR love sets me free....
-Addison Road

Top
#414591 - 10/28/12 10:56 PM Re: all over the place ***vent warning*** [Re: Mel78]
RunningOnEmpty Offline


Registered: 10/07/12
Posts: 91
Loc: georgia
--


Edited by RunningOnEmpty (01/01/13 07:36 PM)

Top
#414640 - 10/29/12 12:05 PM Re: all over the place ***vent warning*** [Re: Mel78]
Blue1966 Offline


Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
The other thing to remember is that, being men, we are not allowed to show any weakness or pain - big boys don't cry. As a result, a lot of things that really aren't anger come out that way.

See, it's okay for us to be angry and critical. It is not okay to be hurt, sad, feel isolated, confused, unworthy, useless, ugly, etc... so, we get mad at ourselves for feeling that way, and those around us only see the anger, not the real emotions.

A simple "Okay, you work it out, I'll be here." can diffuse that.

Chances are he isn't upset that you got rid of whatever it was, to him that probably looked like you thought he was too weak or fragile to handle having it around. No that was not your intent but, that's how it can feel to us when others try to protect. We are supposed to be doing the protecting, not needing or wanting it.

Next time try. "Okay, that bothers you. What would you like me to do with it?"

Top
#414645 - 10/29/12 12:54 PM Re: all over the place ***vent warning*** [Re: Mel78]
Mel78 Offline


Registered: 10/26/12
Posts: 16
Loc: North Carolina
Thank you ROE I feel a kindred connection with you!

Blue, thank you for your perspective, I definitely never thought it would be a defense mechanism. I love him and my intent was only to show him that nothing
Is more important than his comfort and security. I will try your suggestion the next time around.

Oh my, our distance is killing me, but I know He needs to push me
_________________________
Everything rides on hope now, everything rides on faith some how, when the world has broken me down YOUR love sets me free....
-Addison Road

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.