Everything I do seems to be wrong. I made a gesture today as a resolution to an issue he through at me. My thought behind it, was honest and peace driven and he was upset about it. He had previously told me that it was something that bothered him. So I got rid of it. I was wrong....again.

I love him unconditionally but why am I the enemy? I miss him. Sometimes I wish I could be void of my feelings the way he is. I am so emotionally driven that I have to force myself to think logically. He thinks I'm wrong about that too.

ugh....

thanks for letting me vent....

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The other thing to remember is that, being men, we are not allowed to show any weakness or pain - big boys don't cry. As a result, a lot of things that really aren't anger come out that way.

See, it's okay for us to be angry and critical. It is not okay to be hurt, sad, feel isolated, confused, unworthy, useless, ugly, etc... so, we get mad at ourselves for feeling that way, and those around us only see the anger, not the real emotions.

A simple "Okay, you work it out, I'll be here." can diffuse that.

Chances are he isn't upset that you got rid of whatever it was, to him that probably looked like you thought he was too weak or fragile to handle having it around. No that was not your intent but, that's how it can feel to us when others try to protect. We are supposed to be doing the protecting, not needing or wanting it.

Next time try. "Okay, that bothers you. What would you like me to do with it?"

Thank you ROE I feel a kindred connection with you!

Blue, thank you for your perspective, I definitely never thought it would be a defense mechanism. I love him and my intent was only to show him that nothing
Is more important than his comfort and security. I will try your suggestion the next time around.

Oh my, our distance is killing me, but I know He needs to push me