Newest Members
jeremywickers, JScott12, TMatti2, DaiseyLady, uvagrad4
12501 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
innocence (60), pablo999 (53)
Who's Online
4 registered (dan_in_newengland, GT13568, Tiger1982, 1 invisible), 25 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12501 Members
74 Forums
64189 Topics
447912 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#414216 - 10/25/12 12:03 AM hello everyone
PoeThePanda Offline


Registered: 10/24/12
Posts: 25
Loc: Ontario
I came here because there are things I want to do but just can't, things I want to feel but just can t feel. Im tired of having people around me and still feeling alone.

I spent some time as a kid living with other families. Mothers shouldn't leave their kids with other people. The first lady to have sex with me I don't know. The others where older cousins. The last tried to make child porn. I feel sorry for the other girl, she cried quite a bit. I was experienced by then and knew what was expected of me.

I was smart in school, tall and handsome on the outside, quite popular although I never spoke. I felt nothing on the inside. Now I'm just tired of being in my head alone all the time. I can't sit here with this junk by myself anymore. I want to clear it out. I want to learn. I want to be able to speak. I want to learn to trust. I want to lust for somebody I love. I want eventually feel like I'm worth something.

I look forward to sharing my story with everyone and hearing other people's stories and progress.

Thanks

Poe
_________________________
Quiet the noises
And leave your ears free to hear
What is going on,
Right Here.

Do not cower in fear
For when the morning rays mate with the leaves
Through your eyes it will be clear,
That there was actually nothing to fear.

Top
#414218 - 10/25/12 12:53 AM Re: hello everyone [Re: PoeThePanda]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
Welcome Poe,

You have come to a place where you can learn from other men's stories and share your own without judgement. Starting to reach out as you have is a big step that takes alot og courage. Just from the little you've shared so far I can see many similarities to the feelings I and many others have experienced.

Read as much as you can handle in one sitting. Don't try to do too much at once, it can be overwhelming. And post more of your own story and experience as you feel comfortable doing so.

Healing from CSA isn't an easy road, and there can be alot of pain before you see daylight. But as you've said already, you have the opportunity to live the remainder of your life as a whole healthy man. Run with it. You ARE worth it.

Jude
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

Top
#414258 - 10/25/12 02:34 PM Re: hello everyone [Re: Jude]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2453
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brother, Poe.

Welcome to MS. Here you will receive compassion, understanding & hope, from your brothers (fraternal) & friends (in pain).

We all have been there. We have been into the depths of our soul & hell too.

We will hear your cries. We will help in your fears & share in your tears.

Be prepared for the emotional roller coaster ride of your life. Looks like you are on board already.

Hope you can find a competent therapist. There are numerous healing books out there to help you. Here in MS we have healing circles (HC) on Sunday & Wednesday evenings. These public forums. There is chat, PM's private messages & you also have private chat. So take a look around, when your comfortable we're here for you.

Wishing you well in healing, my fraternal brother, Poe. You are on your way.

"I will take that lost boys hand & I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


Top
#414794 - 10/30/12 08:37 PM Re: hello everyone [Re: PoeThePanda]
kcinohio Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 370
Loc: Ohio
Thanks for your introduction. You're in the right place (this site) for exloring these things.

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.