When I got sober almost 19 years ago, I was tormented by my own guilt / shame - that somehow, I "should" have been able to "fix" my alcoholism. When I was in the treatment center, one of the thigs they emphasized was the medical model of alcoholism - that alcoholics truly do metabolize alcohol differently.
That was a a HUGE turning point for me, because then I was truly able to accept the AA slogan "I'm not a bad man trying to become good, I'm a sick man trying to get well."
I've struggled with trying to apply the same idea to recovery from SA - that bullshit that somehow it was my fault. But I could not get it to click - how one metabolizes alcohol is a *genetic* difference that I'm truly not to blame for, but SA - well ...
Then, just a few days ago, it dawned on me - I suffered terrible INJURY because of the SA, kinda like being in some horrible emotional/spiritual train wreck.
I was INJURED in an incident out of my control. To rephrase the AA slogan : "I'm not a bad man trying to become good, I'm an injured man trying to heal."
I have felt much stronger & more grounded in my SA recovery since.