Jeff
Thanks for your response.

I have some questions to challenge you- and to tell u the swamp is about my shame and my mistakes and my f** ups since approximately the age of 15-16.

This includes a deep search for power, affirmation, nurturing and male intimacy -(my father never provided or modeled this for me) the only way I was taught- searching out and being sexual with other males who met my needs. Owning all this acting out and relentless search was part of my healing.

Shame kills.

So can you get over your mistakes?

You were not taken advantage of ?
Adults and older males always looked out for you and helped you develop as a safe mature man?

It's a complicated story, but recovery is also about Untangling the messages and getting healing for our wounds and moving ahead.

Yeah, Jeff but I know your story, too. You had an electric torture device shoved in you and worked under the threat of serious harm by not cooperating. Taking responsibility for your participation is precisely the manipulative goal of the adults' psychological game.

Step outside yourself and picture some other poor kid in the exact same scenario. Are you telling me he'd carry blame? Are you saying he deserves a share of the guilt? Can you possibly believe he carries a single thread of responsibility?

Or do you just hold yourself to a different standard?

Iii think we each hold ourselves to a different standard and feel responsible for others and also harbor guilt and the feeling of being responsible for what happened to us. For others I feel sympathy and can tell them they were a child and should not feel guilt or hold themselves responsible, but for me--I cannot accept.

Jeff,

My brother, so here we go again. I'll spare you once again trying to get you to come around here in the public pages.

I don't ever want someone to think that we are in a pissing contest with each other. We all have our own way trying to come to terms with ourselfs.

So, my brother, Jeff, only three more days and you will be rid of your Irishmoose and his vast amounts of wisdom & eloquent words.

Check your PM's....I'll be waiting, my brother.

Wishing all my brothers here well in healing.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.
Pete..Irishmoose.

Irish moose-

What do you mean by "So, my brother, Jeff, only three more days and you will be rid of your Irishmoose and his vast amounts of wisdom & eloquent words."???

Hi, my brothers.

Well, this Irishmoose is off to Germany on the 6th for the Christmas holidays to be with his, boys.

The loves of his life.

I might not have access to a computer & therefore our daily contacts via PM't to each other will probably be non existant until I return on the 7th Of Jan. I hope that we both can survive with out each other.

Nothing serious, Sorry for raising a red flag, my brothers.

Wishing you all well in healing.

Also extending my Christmas & Hanukkah grettings of peace, serenity, love & hope. To my brothers here, my family.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.

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