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#413977 - 10/22/12 05:25 PM How severe
morten Offline

Registered: 06/25/08
Posts: 3
I only really remember two episodes of my father placing me on his penis as a child and later as a young teen, somwgow sleeping in the bed next to his when i wake up embraced by him from behind, Also there was the touching which just to this day seems inapropriate while he would and never does respect psychal space and generally gets to personal. I jused to be fairly asexual but now im getting alot of homosexual feelings. Would these situations have affected my sexuality?

#414008 - 10/22/12 11:19 PM Re: How severe [Re: morten]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3889
Loc: somewhere in Africa
morten -

that is enough to seriously impact YOU. there is lots of debate and differing theories about what affects our sexual identities - but events like you described are more than enough to cause emotional and psychological complications - if not all-out trauma. you sound like you feel the need to explore this further - it is worth the effort to try to understand more clearly. i'd suggest reading some of the reccommended books and articles on the home page and seeing a qualified therappist.
and of couse - chatting with others on the MS forums is often helpful, too.

"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"

#414064 - 10/23/12 12:37 PM Re: How severe [Re: morten]
Blue1966 Offline

Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
Not likely, but possible. For me the real question is does it really matter?

Yes I'm gay and, that might be because of the abuse I endured. It doesn't matter if that is the case. I like what I like and, I want a man for a life partner. I'm content being gay and, have little to no attraction to women. The why isn't important, me being happy and comfortable being with who I'm with is what matters here.

#414089 - 10/23/12 06:32 PM Re: How severe [Re: morten]
Magellan Offline

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1564
Loc: California
One thing I learned early on, is that self acceptance is critical when it comes to things we think about ourselves.

I agree with Blue; I may have been turned onto the male form by my childhood sexual abuse. I tried to change the attraction, but I couldn't. And "pray away the gay" therapy accomplishes nothing but self loathing and judgment.

It sucks, but its best to accept yourself as you are. After real self acceptance, then whatever potential you have within to change will make itself known to you.



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