"The opposite of love isn't anger; it's apathy."

Apathy and depression go hand-in-hand they used to think. But, Apathy is a worse form of depression. "One of the two major depression symptoms is loss of interest or pleasure, such as in a hobby. Basically, we stop caring."

Lately (past 3 weeks or so), sex is all I care about. The rest, fuck it. It explains a lot. It can also exist in a Bipolar high cause there is no caring about a damn thing there. In fact, I believe it can be part of depression or a high. My high cycles have lasted decades. I know I'm in one, but its different than before. I get surges (sex being the main one) and could literally have sex 24/7 if I lived alone. This is fucked up.

Perhaps, apathy being the opposite of love causes this when a person goes a long time without love (anyone caring) and human touch. Both are connected, love and touch. 7-8 years of no touch for me really. It definitely explains my all-night masturbation sessions (9 hours was my longest..lol) and my desire for casual sex getting stronger and stronger. The lack of sleep (every two days maybe 5 hours lately) is definitely a Bipolar high feature. The high was normal as usual until about 3 weeks ago when I got to thinking about 40 years lost, no mate, no kids and no love and just plain I have always been lonely. It also explains my lack of any excitement that God is back in my life.

How do I get out of it? No clue, but a major change for the better. I'd like to believe that'll happen, but bitter disappointments in the past tell me, yeah, right, pal. It sucks.

Just to add, when in apathy, you can't cry. Explains a week ago last Saturday. frown


Edited by phoenix321 (10/22/12 04:11 PM)
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Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"