Guys,


Just a reminder, that reaching out to others is key in our own healing.

Last night in the chat room a comment was made that was judgmental, damming, blaming and accusatory of a very large (more than half) percentage of our membership's credibility.

It was jaw dropping, and I was grateful the guys in chat ignored it and moved on. It's wise to keep in mind that participants log into chat in varying degrees of awareness and soberness. There are times to ignore and times to address.

Treat others as you would like to be treated. It's quite simple but ever so important.

Hey Keith, good to see you!
I wasn't in chat lately but I've heard about such comments on couple of occasions.
As I understand there are many new members who are not used to guidelines or fact that everyone could be easily triggered including themselves.
I hope everyone present at Male survivor is aware how destructive can be if we are not supportive, demanding, controlling, self centric etc. I know that is long way to become aware of our issues and how difficult dynamics among survivors can be.

Please brothers be calm and supportive when talking in chat or replying to posts.

And if someone is too insulting, please report such person to mods, we have to maintain peaceful and safe environment here, that is priority for all of us.
Pero

Those kinds of issues are exactly why I left one community I was a part of. It was a Male/Female forum and in one breath a person blew off all males and accused all 'religious' people. Sadly A mod chimed in and agreed....

Then I posted about it, and my post was deleted, because it was critical of their organization, while the original offensive post was left.....

So I flat out told them to delete my account and left. I was actually even told by their head mod that if I wasn't getting any benefit there, I could just leave.

you know what? even now many many months later the feelings over that situation are insanely strong and powerful within me.

Care needs to be taken and when it does arise, hopefully the individual, regardless of it being intentional or not, should be address directly.

This is unfortunate to read.

Coming here entails a little bit of responsibility for our own behavior. In spite of what a horrible mood we might be in, we must be responsible for how we treat one another. Only in a safe space can we all work on our issues.

This requires a fundamental respect of all people who are here regardless of whatever disagreements I might feel I have.

D

It's just a reminder.

As far as these rare incidents, some are better to address at the moment, others it is best to address in private with the person.

It's good to keep in mind that the Golden Rule is not at all a bad guideline. We have all been judged, shamed, and condemned enough. "Respect for all" is a good road to take.

I have need to bring this post to surface again.
Please brothers be gentile while talking to other survivors in chat room, remember that we all are here with aim to get some recovery and healing, so please be supportive.
If some heavy words were said please step back and take some breath. Same do if someone is attacking you, remember that many of us are triggered and if someone become aggressive that is his wild side taking control.
Share own experience but never judge or talk with negative stance toward other survivor, let us help each other as much as possible, we all need it.

Pero

I am sorry to hear something like that happened WK. I know I am high energy, and don't know if I go over the top with things. I don't think I do but I can be clueless dude too. So please please let me know if I do. I don't want to add to anyone's hurt ever...

Pero summed it up well, "Share own experience but never judge or talk with negative stance toward other survivor, let us help each other as much as possible, we all need it."

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