Progress can be made with regard to not sabotaging relationships. Although there are a lot of variables involved, learning lessons regarding relationships took me to a much better place with them. At least my behaviors in the current relationship I have and the one prior have been much improved. I found this to be more from my working on my dysfunctional coping behaviors after CSA than from working on the CSA directly though.
Sounds like you have the right idea - waiting to offer the healthier man approach. I had to give time time to make progress after relationships that didn't work (clean up my side of the street) before jumping into the next one, otherwise nothing was likely to change. No matter what relationship partner I have, I'll always have me in that relationship equation. Once I make some progress on my self, then the next one will likely have a better chance (& I'll likely attract someone more that meshes with where I'm at then, a more improved version of myself than the one before hopefully).
I'm still too cautious and remain vigilant regarding the partnering relationship I have now to say I've already made all the progress needed, but after 3+ years, things are still looking good. I've never made it more than 5 1/2 years, and never quite to 4 years within a gay relationship before, but this one feels like it might have legs, yay.
But, I first started looking at CSA stuff in therapy back in '94. I'm slow, but maybe I'm on track this time for both keeping that CSA history and, through recovery, keeping my own dysfunctional coping mechanisms in check so they won't derail an otherwise healthy relationship this time. (The most recent one prior was also a decent relationship on my end, it just didn't turn out to be long-term workable.)
Hope your path to getting healthier is quicker than mine, still, I'm grateful for the progress I have made. Plenty of years I didn't think that it would ever really happen for me.