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#41354 - 05/18/01 10:01 AM MY DAD
Anonymous
Unregistered


QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU SAY TO YOUR FATHER, AFTER HE CALLED YOU NAMES FOR YEARS, "YOUR STUPID, HEY (WIFE) HE'LL NEVER LEARN, HES TOO STUPID, WE SHOULD NEVER ADOPTED HIM"!!! HOW DO YOU TALK TO A MAN AFTER ALL THE YEARS OF NAME CALLING AND MENTAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE? WHAT NOW CAN I SAY, NOW THAT HES DEAD AND BURIED?>?? I LOVED HIM.....I DID. I KNOW I WAS STUPID...DAD, I MISS YOU..........DO I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE ANGRY AFTER 53 YEARS.........MISS YOU DAD.


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#41355 - 05/18/01 04:59 PM Re: MY DAD
mzanghe Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/25/01
Posts: 16
Loc: Denver, Colorado, USA
You have the right to feel anything you want!


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#41356 - 05/18/01 05:53 PM Re: MY DAD
bosishere Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/14/01
Posts: 161
Loc: nashville,tn,usa
I agree with # 2, you can feel any way you like. my ? to you # 1 is are you just beginning to deal with the abuse. me no mattler what my daddy did for me, I CANNOT FORGIVE HIM, FOR NOT EVER SEEING ME THE ENTIRE THRE YEARS I WAS IN A HOSPITAL AGES 6.5 thru 9.5 NOT EVEN TO TAKE ME THERE OR TAKE ME HOME. what I don't understand is why am I just beginning to deal with the incest de did to me when I was only 5. many days I ask WHY, WHY.can I, at some time in the future, like # 1 miss him? bosishere@yahoo.com aka Michael


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#41357 - 05/18/01 07:04 PM Re: MY DAD
Anonymous
Unregistered


i can identify. . . i miss my dad too, even after being raped and beaten by him most of my life. He is as good as dead to me and i have never contacted him since i ran away and i never will. But i miss the dad i thought he was when i was very little. . . when i was still there there was still the chance that if i was good enough and patient enough he would stop, and just love me. i always thought that he must really love me despite all the sick shit he did that if he didn't love me he would've just ignored me all together. Now theres not even that.


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#41358 - 05/19/01 05:41 PM Re: MY DAD
SoCalJohn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California
go,

for me, i recognize now that there are different parts of me, and that they each have there own set of feelings about what happened, one part hates my stepfather for abusing me and all the garbage he left me with, another part of me still loves him, he was my dad, we did fun stuff together too, normal stuff.

finding a way for those two parts, and the others, hehe, to live together in the same brain was a bit of a chore for a while for me, but now i just let them all be there together and treat them as individuals, and just in case your wondering, no i am not a multiple, at least i dont think we are, hehe.


John

_________________________
I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

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#41359 - 05/20/01 12:54 AM Re: MY DAD
fmighell Offline
Member

Registered: 02/19/01
Posts: 276
Loc: Anchorage,Alaska
Hello my name is fmighell,
My Dad and my Mom drank, Dad still does.
He and my Mom drank because of everything.
My Mom drank to her death.
Dad devoriced my Mom, because she wouldn't
stop, I'm only guessing because I don't know
the real reason for their devorice. 1969
I was a child. When Mom was gone, I slept with my Dad to keep him company, but we started having sex also. One day I think the drinking was heavy, he started sucking on my penis to hard, and lossen my urinary tube at the tip, making me bleed. He was hurt, that he had hurt me, and drinking was even more of a problem. So before I know it, the shotgun is brought out of the attic space, and into the closet. While he was away, I have taken all the shells and hided them, and gone back to the bed.
When I awoke my Dad was laying next to me and with the shotgun infront of me pointing through me to him, behind me, and the sound of the triger going, click and click.
I was scared he had tried to shoot me and I was only a kid, who had alot of years yet, if he wanted to shoot himself that was different, but me, I'm only a boy.
Dad I said, I can't believe what your doing,
we are going to have to find someone to make you happy, to re-marry, a new wife.
And as long as I keep him awake at the wheel, we had gone bar hoping looking. How many cars did we almost hit when driving?

Once I told about one of Dads friends Clous,
had sex with me and made me bleed, so when my Dad was unresponive, I called Claus's wife and told her, he had hurt me, and if she didn't believe me she can find the pictures of me, to see that I was telling the truth. She did, and left him, and got a devoice.
Clous was very angry at me for telling, he came over to my house and grabed me and carried me into the garage to sodomized me again, but voilently this time and on the way, I seen my Dad watch from the dinning room window, as my hands where freed from the door edege, while screaming for help.

I can never trust my Dad. \:\(

fmighell Anc Ak

[ 05-21-2001: Message edited by: fmighell ]


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#41360 - 05/20/01 05:59 PM Re: MY DAD
Anonymous
Unregistered


My dad was abusive to me when I was a kid. My parents got divorced when I was 15, and he got remarried soon after. He had nothing to do with my sister and I after that. The only time I've heard from him is when he needed something. 5 years ago, both my sister and I got a letter from him, as he was in the hospital with lymphoma. I went up first, and the visit seemed to go well. I paid to have my sister fly in, and the visit seemed to go well. One day, after his wife left, he started insulting my sister. I got into the argument, too. At one point, I was standing over him yelling, "I put up with your abuse when I was a kid, but I don't have to put up with it now." Internally, I was scared to death, but it was worth it to be able to tell him off. After I got back, I sent him a bill for all my expenses, and have never heard from him again. That was probably one of the more liberating experiences of my life. I'm not sure that I'd recommend it to everybody, though.


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#41361 - 05/21/01 11:51 AM Re: MY DAD
Anonymous
Unregistered


THANKS TO ALL WHO RESPONDED WITH SUCH KINDNESS!!! IT MEANS ALOT! I GUESS I HAVE TO FORGET AND FORGIVE. MY LIFE NOW IS STILL SCREWED UP SOMEWHAT BUT I HAVE TO GET ON WITH LIFE......I WISH MY THOUGHTS OF SEXUAL PREVERSIONS WOULD NOT HAUNT ME FROM MY CHILDHOOD....SUCH CRUELLTY, I CAN'T FORGIVE. THANKS AGAIN GUYS! SCOT


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