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#413372 - 10/17/12 02:49 AM asking for help
bass drummer Offline


Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 27
Loc: new zealand
Hey guys i no i havent been on here for a year but i thought i should come back because it all still hurts me and i have hit rock bottom again and have gone out and asked for help hoping for the right person will come along and help this time. i do live in a small town and i have moved so i dont have many people round me that knows what happened to me and there are very few people that have the training to help males but i am on a mission to fine one that i can talk to face to face. i wont be on here all the time but i will get on when i can and i am looking for any advice that i could use that could help. thanks in advence
_________________________
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to live again

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#413379 - 10/17/12 05:25 AM Re: asking for help [Re: bass drummer]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3509
Loc: somewhere in Africa
bass -

what kind of help do you want & need?

i have found the men here very willing to offer whatever they can if they know what is being requested.

just let us know what you are looking for and i'm sure someone will speak up.

if you've been gone for a year then i probly just missed you. i started participating in early last nov. so it's been almost a year for me. and this forum has helped me more than i can say.

welcome back - but sorry you needed to return.
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#413381 - 10/17/12 05:54 AM Re: asking for help [Re: bass drummer]
bass drummer Offline


Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 27
Loc: new zealand
Things were going ok then i get into a relly depressed state and have to ask for help for that and every person i talk to asked me if i have been you no (i cant even say it at the mo its that bad) and everything comes back to me and it feels like it happened yesterday. i havent talked to anyone bout this coz there is no one here 2 talk 2 i just need some ways 2 make it feel like im not starting all over again
_________________________
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to live again

Top
#413382 - 10/17/12 06:07 AM Re: asking for help [Re: bass drummer]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3509
Loc: somewhere in Africa
OK - so you know what the basic issue is. you are not starting over. i'm guessing that you know a lot more now than when you started out before and were first trying to understand what had happened and why you felt so bad.

start there. and take it slow. build yourself up one brick at a time. you came here and asked for help. that is good. it shows self-awareness, initiative and openness. admitting a need is - paradoxically - a sign of strength.

hopefully, you will soon be able to be more specific about what's happening and how you are coping. once you can get the word out, there are sure to be some guys here who will identify with you and rally around. we are all here for each other - so keep on reaching out and speaking up - and you will be surrounded and supported.

i would bet that we have all been depressed at times (classic understatement!) and have had times of "relapse." so you are far from alone. PM me if you feel like it.

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#413502 - 10/18/12 10:02 AM Re: asking for help [Re: bass drummer]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
Hi bass drummer.

To be honest, I think lee has given the best advice. I found myself that the best thing I could do was talk about how I was feeling on this site and about my experiences, sinse there were a lot of guys here who could freely understand general feelings of depression as well astriggers and all the rest of it, and would at least be there to listen. I also occasionally got some great advice when there were specific issues I needed to deal with like feelings of worthlessness.

Writing my experiences, writing poetry and writing lots of others things down here was also a great way to get rid of them, or sort them out too.

While I tried a couple of counsellers, (one my university services, neither was really too helpfull in themselves, indeed a couple were down right irritating (I had one who tried to tel me that being born prematurely had affected my unconscious), so while I know there are! people who have found therapists helpfull that wasn't my experience.

If feelings of depression are a real issue, you might also considder some sort of antidepressants. These will not! make anything go away, but can be usefull in just aleviating the affects of bad feelings long enough for you to function and get through things.

i tried them myself for 18 months, but stopped when I considdered that I no longer needed them.

I'm not sure what the process is in newzeeland, but i know here in britain my gp just prescribed them for as long as I needed them.

Above all, take time for yourself. this is your recovery and your experience. whether your on here or not, you are in charge of your own recovery. what you write on here, what you do with your life are all up to you. as is what you do on this site.

There is no set way of recovery just as there are no set stories of abuse, everything is individualized, but at least on this site there are lots of people who are willing to listen and offer advice, ---- which you are free to take or not as you choose.

I really hope some of this will be helpfull to you and that you find this site as usefull in the past as I have.

all the best,

Luke.

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#413528 - 10/18/12 02:23 PM Re: asking for help [Re: bass drummer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Hello mate --

I dunno that I can add anything to what Lee and Luke have said. I know from experience their focus on immediate issues is really good, fwiw.

But I can add my voice as one of support for what you're experiencing. You've read the posts. You know it's a great place to dump...and get help, even if it's only an ear.

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