Newest Members
Green_Lantern, Safe11ride, WillWins, neophiliac, Jerone
12118 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
archie chisholm (61), Carlos418 (37), courtney (52), kurotake (55), lostsoul (63), Lukesgirl (28), michael banks (2014), Steffon (42)
Who's Online
3 registered (blockade, jq19712, 1 invisible), 53 Guests and 9 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12118 Members
73 Forums
62513 Topics
438098 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#413319 - 10/16/12 06:45 PM .
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 09:33 PM)

Top
#413323 - 10/16/12 07:01 PM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
Blue1966 Offline


Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
I hate to say it but, it is possible. The outwardly best parent in the world can be an abuser.

As for if it was your father, I don't know. I would however bring this up with a therapist. The fact that he triggers you as you describe is enough to make him suspect in my mind.

Top
#413326 - 10/16/12 07:30 PM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Dang L.A.D. I am sorry you go they this. I wish u the best and hope you can figure it out.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#413333 - 10/16/12 07:49 PM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3199
Loc: back in the USA
LAD -

good for you for expressing yourself so coherently.

as i see it - there are 2 possibilities - either he is a perp.
or - he is triggering memories of another perp - because of similaries that trigger your repressed memories.

i sure know all the feellings you describe, though. the step-father triggered all of that in me for all my life from age 6 until he died when i was in my mid-30s. it was only in the past year that i knew why - not just CSA - but incest. i always knew about the verbal and physical abuse - but never really gave it that name until i had moved out of the house and was free of his physical presence and control. the emotional, mental, spiritual and psychological influence, oppression and conditioning continues to this day - though it is diminishing.

how could he be so nice, giving, etc?
denial, splitting, whatever - it is possible.
i am sure my mom's 2nd husband never admitted to himself what he did to me.

take care of yourself, man!
Lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

Top
#413335 - 10/16/12 07:54 PM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 09:33 PM)

Top
#413343 - 10/16/12 08:15 PM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
GT13568 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 121
Loc: California
I'd say your dad used you. Whether he sexually abused you? It seems possible. The man used you in a game to deceive your mother. Knowing you are an alcoholic, he encouraged you to drink. He " allowed you too much freedom." All these things indicate a pattern. Good fathers don't "freak out" or manipulate by threatening suicide. Good fathers set standards for their own behavior and teach those behaviors to kids.

Back to the question of sexual abuse: "Being nice" could be a kind of grooming, do you think? Life is but a dream, it sounds like your body is telling you something. You're not sure what. You should listen. Are you working with a therapist? It has really helped me to do so.

Good luck.

Top
#413373 - 10/17/12 03:01 AM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 09:32 PM)

Top
#413376 - 10/17/12 03:44 AM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3566
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey LAD,
please be careful with your father, I'm not sure whether he abused you or not but I can tell that he is not supportive at all like father should be and rather use you for his interests frown
Please try to share as little as possible with him about your issues. He already is crossing the line by making triggering jokes with you and using things that you've told him, that is terrible wrong frown
You have to make some distance and to protect yourself, please follow your feelings.
I have one question: is your dad very ill or something so you are so worrying for his health and do such things for him?
Hang on buddy!

Pero
_________________________
My story

Top
#413393 - 10/17/12 08:02 AM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 997
LAD,

As a left-hander, I also hate restaurant booths. Always banging my elbow against the wall.

Your uncle who is in prison, is that your father's brother? And you are also suspicious of your grandfather? And your father has gambling problems and emotional problems and boundary issues in public?

It is *possible* that your grandfather started a chain of abuse that you have been swept up in.

PM me if you need to talk.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

Top
#413435 - 10/17/12 08:14 PM * [Re: Life's A Dream]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:36 PM)

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.