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#413306 - 10/16/12 03:14 PM Black Sheep and Asking People to Chil
Becoming Other Offline


Registered: 07/26/11
Posts: 67
Loc: follow early Alice Miller, Del...
Trying to talk to a real nice young guy who takes care of parks. Part of this job is calling the cops if people won't yield when he warns them that they cannot drink in the park. I don't really care if he continues to try and enforce this. Mostly I just want everyone to chill out and to minimize the number of cops. But when you deal with alcoholic derelicts, it does get to how you see Black Sheep.

A couple of days ago he ran into such a person who got a little bit belligerent. So I asked around.

Today I explained, "The guy you encountered is named D. He is basically harmless, except that he can be a hothead when he is drunk or high. He is not new, he grew up around here. His parents have a house just a couple of blocks away and they are well off. D. probably lives with them. D. has been gone for the last year because he was in a recovery program."

"Oh, so now he is right back in the park drinking?"

"Correct. With this sort of a guy, especially since the parents are still married, he is going to be the designated Black Sheep. Lots o people look at these situations and blame the Black Sheep. I do not. I think the parents are responsible."

This parks guy is young and I know he was raised by a single mother. I think he is the better for it.

"Yeah, if they are still married they are going to be putting up a united front against the son."

"So I mean, if the guy's got shortcomings, its mostly just that he's so much like his parents. But very few people can see this. So instead he drinks. He's not someone worth getting bothered over."

This young parks guy still insists that he is going to enforce the rules. But at least he seems to be seeing that its not worth getting exercised over when these guys are belligerant.

For myself, I don't go along with the concept of Recovery, or with Born Again Christianity and Getting Saved either, because its all still just more of blaming the victim.



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Becoming Other
Exploited Children United

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#413307 - 10/16/12 03:43 PM Re: Black Sheep and Asking People to Chil [Re: Becoming Other]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Originally Posted By: Becoming Other
For myself, I don't go along with the concept of Recovery, or with Born Again Christianity and Getting Saved either, because its all still just more of blaming the victim.

... wow ...
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the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
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#413337 - 10/16/12 08:01 PM . [Re: Becoming Other]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 09:33 PM)

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#413338 - 10/16/12 08:02 PM Re: Black Sheep and Asking People to Chil [Re: Becoming Other]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
I don't see how being a born again Christian is more of blaming the victim. I don't understand the point if the last comment but I appreciate you sharing the story.

I say that rules are meant to be enforced. If the guy is drunk and hot headed as you said in a public park then he probably should be drunk and hot headed in private and then there is no problem.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#413552 - 10/18/12 06:32 PM Re: Black Sheep and Asking People to Chil [Re: Becoming Other]
Becoming Other Offline


Registered: 07/26/11
Posts: 67
Loc: follow early Alice Miller, Del...
Lots of rules are not always enforced. Regulating alcoholic derelicts can be impossible. I read the arrest log. Its the same names over and over. If you drive them out of the park, then they go to the retail areas. This causes even more of a problem.

The worst of them aren't scared of cops. Tickets and warrants mean nothing to them. They like being in jail. The only thing which bothers them is when a cop can catch them and makes them pour out their beer.

These people were designated at an early age as the family black sheep. But very rarely can someone see and understand this. They just feel it. So they drink and use. And yes they are susceptible to further abuse from all the doctrines which turn it into personal pathology.

The young parks worker who I've tried to convince not to take the belligerence personally, was himself raised by a single mother. I think he is the better for it. His life is not overly shaped by being used as a marital pawn. Instead of using her son, his mother opted for divorce or just for staying single. He grew up in a time when this was more common. He grew up less well off than most of the older alcoholics he is having problems with.

Of one belligerant I tried to help him to see what was going on so that he wouldn't take it pesonally. As he put it, "Yes I can see that with the parents well off and still married that they would be putting up a united front." It is a front of denial and condemnation of their son.

What I always say is that someone who has been treated with dignity and respect and given the chance to develop and apply their abilities is not likely to become a substance addict.

Today an alcoholic derelict who I have a high regard for collapsed in a seizure or black out. He hit his head and saliva was running out of his mouth as he went through convulsions. He is killing himself.

Yes, he gets locked in jail a few times per year. He loves it in there. When he gets out he is chipper. It takes about a month for his drinking to get up to his prior level.

The only thing which could somehow change the direction he is headed would be if he could come to see how he was used, exploited, and violated, and if he could become involved in the struggle for justice.

Those doctrines which cast it as personal pathology and moral defect are most certainly part of the problem and not part of the solution

Becoming Other
Exploited Children United, new portal page:
http://theexploitedunited.onlinewebshop.net

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#413654 - 10/19/12 02:09 PM Re: Black Sheep and Asking People to Chil [Re: Becoming Other]
Becoming Other Offline


Registered: 07/26/11
Posts: 67
Loc: follow early Alice Miller, Del...
Of the man I spoke of yesterday who had the seizure, they kept him in the hospital for just a few hours. Then he was released. Someone pushed him across the street to a bus stop in a wheel chair. They he had another seizure, so he was readmitted. Then he received a ticket for stealing the wheel chair.

Sure, these people are funny. If you've ever read John Steinbeck's "Cannery Row" and his sequel "Sweet Thursday", you'll find a group of bums that's just hilarious. Some who have hitchhiked across the country have told me than in every city they go through there is always such a group.

But it is also really sad. This guy who had these two seizures has had lots of them. When he comes back to his home turf by bus, he has his pit stops for panhandling and ethanol maintenance preplanned.

They don't keep him long in the hospital. So I think the only humane thing to do when he gets like this is to lock him in jail. Its the only way he can have a medically supervised detox. He has been in over 20 times already. He loves it in there. Sometimes he has had as many as 16 outstanding citations before they decide to bring him in. If sometimes he has less citations, its just because they aren't willing to send as many police around to be writing them. Beyond the first couple, the citations don't mean anything.

Problem is that the jail is always full, so they can't keep him in there that long either. They need the space for all the wife beaters. So lately its just been about three weeks at a time.

There are some who avoid the risk of getting cited for drinking their beer in the park. They will buy a half pint of vodka and guzzle it down. Then they can eat with the Born Again Christian group which serves food in the park without risk. Others have told me though that someone who drinks like that is at high risk for a seizure or black out themselves.
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Becoming Other
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#413765 - 10/20/12 05:06 PM Re: Black Sheep and Asking People to Chil [Re: Becoming Other]
Becoming Other Offline


Registered: 07/26/11
Posts: 67
Loc: follow early Alice Miller, Del...
The man I spoke of got out the hospital yesterday and returned to his home turf. He looked better than average. Some clean used clothes and a few hours of enforced sobriety make a difference.

Today he was lying down on a walkway in the retail area where he had blacked out.

I said, "I've known you for two years now. There is something I've never said to you that I need to say now. You've got to stop drinking." He didn't like that and had a colorful response. I told him that the only way forward is to reject all the things used to keep pepole down: alcohol, drugs, born again christianity, and psychiatric medication.
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Becoming Other
Exploited Children United

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