Thanks for your replies!
@traveler - Yeah, think its a big part of my problems. you hit the nail head on there man. Thanks, I was struggling to rationalise it out like that. I think I would go a little further and say that it can become abusive if the receiver feels hurt, belittled, at threat etc. regardless of intentions. It should be up to, in my case, my father to realise the effect their actions are having and stop.
Its only over the last year, going to psychiatrists being diagnosed with ADHD and subsequently researching this area and slightly deviating into autism that I started to understand my fathers behaviours. He was abusive to us, mainly through his frustration, rage and emotional type stuff but never sexual, mine came from outside the family. That little regulator that controls how we relate to others and importantly our ability to feel for others is not up to speed in my father. He can only intellectualize what is going on, so tends to mock as a pose to tease. Its not his fault but as a young child you don't understand why he continually makes you feel like shit and finds it funny! That, on top of keeping my secrets has had a crippling effect for sure.
Clockwise, I know what your saying man, my parents dare not mention woman to me, I would be liable to smash the house up. No exaggeration. Thats what would happen!
Edited by Unknown1 (10/16/12 09:26 AM)
The virtue of mental anguish... is the provision of strength and resilience each time clarity's reclaimed. For my success, I owe it all,
to that which stands in my way.