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#449034 - 10/03/13 12:50 AM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
Onesimus75 Offline


Registered: 08/22/13
Posts: 158
Loc: Minnesota
It does get better.
The thing the drove me closest to self-destruction was the messed-up pattern of fantasies and flashbacks of the abuse. It would happen, and I would want to hurt myself over the guilt.

That was... dunno, almost a decade ago.

Happened again today.

Wasn't pleasant. Not at all. But I'd learned not to own it. Now it looked like "That sucked, but it's his fault, not mine, and it's my wound, not my identity." And moved on with my day.

[as a religious type some prayer stuff was involved]

Lots of stuff is like that these days. I have to cut back on friend time when I used to be completely isolated. I'm choosing between churches when I didn't belong to them. I've got my degree when I felt I was a total looser.

There's still a lot I want to work on, and I'm far from where I want to be...

But though I can stand where I am and point at a 90 degree turn from where I was, at no point can I remember the road seeming to bend. It always seemed like I was standing on one straight road with no turn in sight.

Change and healing, seem to be incremental instead of miraculous and swift.

just because you don't see progress doesn't mean you're not making anyone! Just like as kids we couldn't see ourselves grow, but we sometimes shot up like weeds!

Hang in there! It does get better!
_________________________
We are not defined by our faults, or our wounds, but by the truth within us, which nothing can take away.

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#453778 - 11/15/13 12:42 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 278
very well done and thank your for sharing. great post.

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com
_________________________
Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#453799 - 11/15/13 02:49 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 727
Loc: NJ
I miss Keith on the site.... such a good man with a lot of wisdom.
_________________________

My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#454835 - 11/22/13 07:25 PM IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
I heard today from 2 men I know very well from MS.

Both are living life well, not letting csa hold them down.

I won't tell you its easy. I've stood with both on horrible days, and have been blessed to hear when they won. I've also been blessed to have them both take my back daily as I climb stumble, and climb back up too.

We can't control life, simply live it best we can, scars and all.

Let it get better. Live life and heal.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#463156 - 03/25/14 03:21 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 278
thank you
_________________________
Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#463429 - 03/30/14 05:39 PM Re: IT DOES GET BETTER [Re: kb8715]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
No thank you Rich. Thanks to all who read this.

I'm sitting on a cold wet soccer field, which is where I'm found most Sundays for many years. I'm no athelete, sure csa took interest away, but I've raised 3 who are.

Getting better may be about today and accepting the past. That is not forgiving abuse, but accepting who we are and being who we wish to be.

I think true survivors do just that. I think we step up with integrity and honesty, take on our various monsters, and when we can, help another.

Life is not perfect. CSA not the only wound to be felt sadly.

Its all just life and we have to play it as well as my youngest plays mid field.

So pls live for your today. And thanks as ever to you all and pls let it get better.

Best to you all.
_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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