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#412940 - 10/12/12 07:19 PM overwhelming pain
dragon Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 354
Loc: on the river between Hades n V...
The time is upon me right now
Almost time to say good bye to two little angels
Angels that were sent to me in spite of the hatred the bred them
Angels i will love forever despite me being away from them

They will eventually know who their mother was like their oldest brother
They will be told when old enough to understand
They will realize that the whore father they have did the best he could
He gave them a chance at a life much better than they would have had

The pain is so great
burning through my body
tearing at me with talons trying to rip flesh
searing heat coming alive in me and ultimate rage

I dance and dance trying to deal with the burning pain
I've done this before as i was taught to
Dance for money, dance for pleasure of others, and dance to deal with pain
Dancing isn't working and ready h panic and flip

Music as loud as i can get it
Metal, Heavy goth core, rock, techno, rock classical
Italian hardcore and Russian Czech German Goth core
As loud as it is to dance to and block out pain

Sitting in a corner back to the wall feet planted firm
rocking back and forth to the beat and bass drops
trying hard not to hurt the ones still here i love
Pain growing stronger and shaking i can feel it coming close

I handed you over for a new life away from hurt and pain
I know you're in good hands
be with your older brother as well
ones who love you and true love not like your daddy had

Daddy packed you everything I was allowed to have for you
the outfits they got you and blankets
my music i sent for you's and your older brother
A letter for each of you three princes

Angels above better watch over my three princes during their new journey
Keep them safe that i couldn't do
My princes are given a new journey from my undying love for them
it takes a strong soul to give a life to the ones you love truly

Names picked in love from four strong
Names unique and strong
Names to be utterly proud of
Each one of us chose them and combined them each for you's

You will keep your black hair that i know
A trait from your daddy you get this
Your olive skin tones will stay now
Eyes of blazing ice blue can stay
though gold, emerald and purple lines already present in each of you which are from us four strong

Daddy would have rather died than parted from you
Death seems to follow me but truly death gives life to
I'd walk to hell and back to keep you's three princes safe
I'd even make the bargain with the devil himself again to protect you's

Throwing up and shaking so bad
Urges to cut over come me now
Take the pain away and stop wrist banging my only option
Still rocking and shaking in pain like i've got hell in me

I want to break shit and take out everything i have around me
I don't want to hurt my love or fellow brothers here
i just want the pain to stop and end
Why feel pain though they are better off and safe now

Bloody knuckles from a chance to exalt the pain i feel
Grateful to use the punching bag
i don't care how badly i hurt physically
any physical pain takes from this emotional pain

my three princes
looks of their father
strong like their father
Go on this journey and travel lightly daddy will eventually see you again
_________________________
I don't want to look back;I just want to start again;Somebody save me--- Pop Evil: Broken and Betrayed

I want justice I want you overthrown;I want courage I want to stand alone;I want your arrogance and I want your pain;I want your everything and I want you dead--- Rev Theory: Justice

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#412975 - 10/13/12 03:49 AM Re: overwhelming pain [Re: dragon]
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3204
Loc: back in the USA
Jayy -

i can't even imagine what this is like.
but i weep with you.
my thoughts and prayers are with you - and your precious babies.

Lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#413036 - 10/13/12 10:05 PM . [Re: dragon]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 09:33 PM)

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