Hey Jayy, congratulation once more!
I'm crying while reading your dilemma: would you put them on your skin or turning your back. Must be so difficult for you
You are wonderful person, so special and delicate. I'm sure you are the best dad in the world and would be always.
Your children need your love and you have it a lot, it is blessing from skies. Don't be hard on yourself, we love you just as you are and accept you in full, you are great man. I wish that I can do more for you and your children, I'm praying for things to change.
Love you ((Jayy))