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#412604 - 10/09/12 01:04 PM * [Re: cant_remember]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:27 PM)

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#412612 - 10/09/12 02:40 PM Re: My Perp died today [Re: cant_remember]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
I'll go with Gecko on this one. My perp died in 1999, well before I started dealing with this. He'd be 88 now. I'm relieved he's gone, apparently died isolated from most of his family, and won't harm anyone else.

FWIW, his demise did spur me on to dig deeper, as Gary did, with the institutions involved. I could have let it go. I didn't. Since I'm having a relatively good day today, despite Sandusky, I can now say I'm glad I'm pursuing this. It's become apparent that, in spite of their official positions/policies, much of the same institutional sweep-it-under-the-rug mindset still exists 40 years later.

What I can do as an adult for kids who may find themselves in the same position today is be the adult I needed to help me, but who wasn't there.

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#412740 - 10/10/12 11:21 PM Re: My Perp died today [Re: cant_remember]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1048
Thanks, everybody.

Love the support here, and don't know what I would do without it.

I'm surviving.
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#412742 - 10/10/12 11:26 PM Re: My Perp died today [Re: cant_remember]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3704
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Originally Posted By: cant_remember

I'm surviving.


you are, indeed. that is what has brought you this far. and it will take you farther yet. but sometimes it is all we can expect.

hang on until the storm passes. we are all here together.

Lee
_________________________
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho


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#412823 - 10/11/12 05:47 PM Re: My Perp died today [Re: cant_remember]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1048
My session with my T today was mostly crying and breathing exercises. Feeling pretty zombified right now.

I assured him I wasn't suicidal (and I'm not)... but I also know this pain only ends with death. At least that's the way it feels now.

Life is pain is life is pain.


Edited by cant_remember (10/11/12 05:52 PM)
Edit Reason: clarity
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#412824 - 10/11/12 05:58 PM Re: My Perp died today [Re: cant_remember]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1601
Loc: New England
Can't,

You're not alone brother. We're here for you 10,000 strong.

Jude
_________________________
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

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#412827 - 10/11/12 06:14 PM Re: My Perp died today [Re: cant_remember]
GT13568 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 138
Loc: California, 93451
Oh Cant,

My heart goes out to you. This is impossible for me to understand, except that it must be wrenching, and take you right into your pain.

Does it seem like that horrible person placed a burden on you to feel connected to him through his abuse? We are always being raped.

Keep in mind, in your struggles, that despite his abuse, YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON.

That perp who abused you never was and never can be.

I'll be thinking about you my friend.

Geoff
_________________________
I won the moment he hurt me, because he poisoned his soul, and I did not poison mine. I did not hurt anyone. He did. He was the perp. He tried to make me into a victim, but I became a survivor. Yes.

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#412904 - 10/12/12 11:09 AM Re: My Perp died today [Re: cant_remember]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1048

Today feels better. Still not focused on work, but not in crisis at the moment.

Skipped watching the VP debate last night to avoid stress. Had a few beers at a bar with a friend and a acoustic band on stage with the Yankees game on...
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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