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#412819 - 10/11/12 05:26 PM *
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:29 PM)

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#412822 - 10/11/12 05:44 PM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1046
I love you anyway. And probably not as bad as you think.
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#412826 - 10/11/12 06:13 PM * [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
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Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
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Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:29 PM)

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#412828 - 10/11/12 06:16 PM * [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
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Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
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Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:29 PM)

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#412829 - 10/11/12 06:16 PM * [Re: cant_remember]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
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Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:29 PM)

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#412834 - 10/11/12 06:40 PM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Blue1966 Offline


Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
I'll wait for the archive, but I doubt it was that bad. If you spoke form your heart then I'd bet the message you wanted to get across did get across.

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#412835 - 10/11/12 06:45 PM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3509
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Gary - i read your blog. the best i can offer is a familiar phrase - IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT!

sounds like the deck was stacked against you and you were set up for a situation in which few seasoned professionals woul have been able to excel.

two reasons for hope = perhaps the rep will read your written testimony - which may have more impact than if he had been there = and is very well written, i might add. and - perhaps your obvious discomfort and insecurity in speaking will have provided a visual illustration of the affects of CSA upon you -even all this time later.

please don't blame yourself. you did the best you coud under the circumstances.

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#412842 - 10/11/12 08:38 PM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
As usual, Lee and I are one on this, Gary. I'll add that contacting some sympathetic media and/or sympathetic committee members with your written testimony might remain an option. Mention you'd like it officially entered into the record.

And I'll second the idea of the discomfort/insecurity being an obvious illustration of CSA effects, a point you could make to anyone in a cover letter.

{{{{{{{{{{Gary}}}}}}}}}}

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#412849 - 10/11/12 10:06 PM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1596
Loc: New England
Gary,

Simply put: Just your being there was a kick in the nuts to the pedophiles in Indiana who want to destroy children. Don't dispair man, you did great!

Jude
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

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#412855 - 10/11/12 11:26 PM * [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
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Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
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Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:30 PM)

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#412865 - 10/12/12 01:26 AM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Have some of my own recent sh*t I'll at least be PM'ing you about Gary, so you'll remind me of my own glass-half-full stuff no doubt, right?

What I hear you saying is that you did a service to yourself and to us. Great! You did it, despite your anxiety. You just did it. No small feat, imo.

Here's another. You're not clairvoyant. You don't know who was affected by your presence or how they were affected. Well, at least that's a thot that helps me sometimes.

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#412889 - 10/12/12 08:38 AM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
Gary,

You stood up, in front of a large group of people and spoke from a hastily rewritten, restructured testimony. Remembering your posts before the testimony - I would say what you've done is nothing less that spectacular! You certainly did not let me down - regardless of how it might be perceived. You stood your ground, played by their rules, poured out your heart to what sounds like a bunch of deaf ears ... Quite honestly, you amaze me with your inner strength.

Congratulations, Gary. For completing what you set out to do. Whether or not it was changed because of some bureaucrat is less important in my eyes than the fact that you did what you started out to do. You stood up and you were heard. Whether anyone actually "listened" is out of your control anyway - be proud of what you've done, Gary. I'm proud of you.
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#412903 - 10/12/12 11:06 AM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1781
Gary

You followed your heart and stood up--it takes courage and commitment. You let the world know what happened. Great job

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#412909 - 10/12/12 11:40 AM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: cant_remember]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Great stuff. You did what you could and you've called them on it. Best you can do is all you can do. Some people just refuse to listen to anything. Bad for them and the community. Bring it up and send that letter to your newspapers. Easier way to get your point across and make them look like the fools they are. smile


Edited by phoenix321 (10/12/12 11:43 AM)
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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#412934 - 10/12/12 05:48 PM * [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:31 PM)

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#412950 - 10/12/12 10:24 PM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
I'll repeat a bit of what I said in the PM. The chair is like a cross between a Stepford wife and She-Devil.

And, no, you weren't polished. You were real.

What strikes me about the situation is that at any point you could have tucked tail, walked out, gone home and no one would have been the wiser, except that no one would have answered the Chair's call. You stuck it out. Alone. It's not at though you went there with a group of people physically present to back you up.

Do NOT minimize that accomplishment. When you've some space to look back at it, I want you to consider exactly where you've come from - say, since '84 - and where you were when you stood up yesterday. The words don't express the depth of what I'm feeling about you, but I cannot emphasize enough that's absolutely HUGE. You're probably exhausted...and may be for yet a few days. But, mygawd, you actually DID IT.

Now that I have a little perspective on yesterday, I don't get the sense the tears in the car had anything to do with "failure" at all. I think it was complete emotional exhaustion. (I'll do the codep nag a little bit and tell you to take time to recover physically since the stress may not be immediately obvious).

(You've got goodies under your MS Birfday Tree, but, when you're up for it, go hit Macy's or somesuch to get some trophies as a reminder of your success. I'm not talkin' socks. I'm talking Ralph Lauren, YSL, Hilfiger...something really NICE...and, please, tasteful)

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#412968 - 10/13/12 03:03 AM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3509
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Gary - i meant to also wish you a happy birthday but got carried away in the excitement about your testimony. but it also occurred to me - here in some countries of Asia it is a tradition for the one having the birthday to give gifts to their friends. That is exactly what happened here. YOU gave US all an incredible gift by putting yourself on the line.

Thank you!
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#412974 - 10/13/12 03:47 AM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
I watched it Gary and I didn't see any problem except with the lady rudely interrupting you like it was intended and i think you handled it quite well.. I think you did well.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#413011 - 10/13/12 02:26 PM * [Re: Lancer]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:32 PM)

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#413012 - 10/13/12 02:29 PM * [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:32 PM)

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#413017 - 10/13/12 04:36 PM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Oh, I dunno Gary. The world is ending on Dec. 21st. I'd say things ARE much worse than they seem. But that's me...

laugh laugh laugh

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#413050 - 10/14/12 01:09 AM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1248
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/17/13 10:37 AM)
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#413055 - 10/14/12 04:00 AM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Jeff! LTNS! Wait, the world ended and no one told me? Dam! If you find my mind whle you're looking for yours, let me know.

See wot you've started Gary? You're kinda growing an army here.

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#413087 - 10/14/12 01:55 PM * [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:33 PM)

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#413750 - 10/20/12 12:36 PM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 953
Loc: southern California
SMALLTOWNBOY.....just a few thoughts in song for you: Song for SmallTownBoy smile
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#413754 - 10/20/12 01:26 PM * [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
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Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:40 PM)

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#413757 - 10/20/12 03:06 PM Re: My testimony was a DISASTER [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
OMG...Capt. Jack can sing? Had no clue. Does this mean Gary gets a WWII greatcoat to wear?

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