Scott,
I didn't get time to read James last night. I did however get on a direct line to God and layer this at the cross. There is a lot of issues that are bringing this on. Not just my past affair but a lot of kids issues as well. She is at her breaking point and I can't help her but I know the One who can. He is in control. Thanks for your always inspiring words brother. I hav read James before but I always find new insight when I read books again. I plan on reading it today because God laid it on your heart to tell me to read it.

Lee,
I am inspired by your words and have felt so happy seeing you grow and God work in your life. Thank you for praying

Jude,
I PM'd u back. Thanks.

I have never fasted before but I had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to fast along with prayer. So that is what I am doing. May Gods will be done in this situation. I just know that He wants marriage to work. He wants the best for His children. I just want my wife to go to Him first. Don't look to me but Him.

You are in my thoughts and prayers too!

Dear Country,

I am so sorry to take so long to get back to you. I was out of town overnight and have had some personal stuff to deal with that kept me quite preoccupied. But I did not forget to pray for you several times a day. Actually – I’m sure that was more effective than any words of advice or encouragement or “wisdom” I might have sent. Be that as it may – I’ll go ahead and add what I’ve learned from my journey so far – as a demonstration of support, if nothing else.

Put all your effort into keeping your marriage together. Even if you have to put your own issues on hold for a while. Nothing is more important to you, to your wife, and to your step-son. And if a separation becomes unavoidable, do everything within your power to mend the breach and be re-united. Even though it has often been a struggle and a balancing act for my wife and me to keep working toward the same goal, we have managed it, by God’s grace. That has been both one of the biggest challenges – and also one of the greatest blessings of my history. I do not know how I could have made it without her. And weird as it is, she says the same about me.

A few things that may help –

Be humble and not defensive or self-justifying.

Serve her and try to ease her burdens as much as you can.

Express your love and determination to be faithful and committed both verbally – and though any other love languages you can use to reach her heart.

Ask what you can do to help – from household chores to giving her a day off to springing for a make-over at the salon.

Spend time together – take a walk, talk face to face, go out to dinner, watch a movie that she chooses, etc.

Leave little notes for her – just a sentence each – to surprise her and tell her what you appreciate about her.

Share with her what you are learning – about yourself, about God, about life. Include her in as much of your healing process as you both can handle.

Pray together, worship together, seek God’s guidance together.

If you are able, see a counselor together. Prove that you are willing and eager to work on the relationship with her.

It takes effort – but it is really worth it in the end.

I thought about sending this as a PM but then figured - i might as well be really transparent about it. my wife and i are haveing a rough time right now. - but because we have already reestablished some measure of trust through my attempts (not always successful!) to do the above - we will get through this one, too.

blessings, brother!
Lee

Thanks Lee. These are all great things. I appreciate your prayers and words brother. They really mean a lot to me. Everything seems to be working out and I know God is in control. I was feeling so strong and powerful when I fasted and prayed. The night I fasted and thru a lot of praying all day at work it was like God took control. She still has no idea I fasted. She was even trying to make me some supper. That is how powerful my God is

Thanks also to you Buff. When we come together like this it just glorifies the kingdom. Thanks to all my brothers in Christ for allowing God to move thru y'all.