Just need to gripe a bit. Should have expected this.
Noticed some skin sensitivity developing on my right leg a week ago and, though it's been three years, I intuitively knew it was probably another case of shingles. Dammit. And, sure enough, the deep blisters are starting.
It's not so much that it's back to the Valtrex or Acyclovir, but this takes a couple months to run its course and heal as much as it's going to. It's painful, especially when I'm trying to get to sleep. Feels like I've got my foot permanently stuck in a bucket of ice water...painful AND numb. Weird.
With the stress of the past few months of dealing with CSA for the first time - despite years of other therapy - and unresponsive, sometimes downright nasty people among the mental health and legal professions, I felt lucky no infections had developed. I'd been vigilant on healthy eating, exercise and rest. I know from 20 years' experience that stress will take me down faster than anything. Thought I was out of the woods on that phase of things. Oh well...dammit...again.
Like I said, I just need to vent. This stuff pisses me off.
FWIW, I found an attorney I trust. I have a T who I like. Those were two priorities achieved. I suppose if there ever was a message to let others handle this shit for a while, this is it, huh?
Probably won't be my usual perky self for several weeks. And yes, please, if you have any good HIV or shingles jokes, post 'em or PM them to me because I get pretty crabby. This hurts 24/7 and distracts me.
A man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, "I've got shingles."
She said, "Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you're done, please take a seat."
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "I've got shingles."
So she took down his height, weight, and complete medical history, then said, "Change into this gown and wait in the examining room."
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, "I've got shingles."
So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told him to wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles."
The doctor gave him a full-cavity examination, and then said, "I just checked you out thoroughly, and I can't find shingles anywhere."
The man replied, "They're outside on the truck. Where do you want them?"
"But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I've changed. Something's lost but something's gained in living every day ....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. " Joni Mitchell
Started the Acyclovir today. If like last time, effects won't be visible for a while. Noticed, too, I'm starting a similar breakout on the right shoulder/pec area...just like the cartoon. Enuf already! Right leg already looks (to me) like a special effects job. At least it's being treated.
Did start a painkiller which is working. Hell, I can actually sleep now without constantly moving to keep the leg warmer/cooler. Driving any appreciable distance is out of the question, however. I feel I have to be real cautious with this sh*t. And I'm soaking as needed for the joint pain. Hydrocortisone cream for now, probably Zostrix (capcasin) later. But, dammit, no shorts? I'm gonna be such a bitch until at least Halloween.
That's about it for now on the bitching dept. I'll add that shopping for boat shoes today, as you might expect, was interesting. Well, at least I wore jeans and socks. They say a spot of retail therapy can really help a girl forget her troubles
Gonna keep that Shingles vs. Pringles thing in mind, Pero. The images are helping my frame of mind a lot. And, OMG, the nasty PM jokes I've been receiving....
"I got my shingles in December 2009, got a lot of "Shingle Bells", "All The Shingle Ladies"...no good jokes other than my family coming up with nicknames for me."
"Yeah, my wife was giving me the shinglebells routine, you can tell by my screen name. So anyway I told her that if she kept it up I was gonna have to leave her. She told me that I would have to frequent the "Shingle's Bars" to find a new wife."
("My mind is going. I can feel it." - HAL, 2001: A Space Odyssey)
I dunno. Should I make this a shingles blog? Guess we're already there, huh guys? Should I post pics? Ewwwwww....
And the reason I'm up at this awful hour (GMT-5) is I tried to roll over and the hip didn't like it. Haven't had the joint related part of shingles before. wtf is up w/that? Gawd I'm a mess. Painkiller is sorta working. Topical cream. And baking soda sitz bath is getting daily use. But dammit.
Perhaps I shouldn't have done it yesterday, but I push these things. Tried to mow the lawn and within minutes found I couldn't stoop or stand. LOLOL. I looked very funny all bent over. Sooo, a painkiller, half an hour, and I was back at it. Lawn's pretty even if I'm not.
Part of it is, well, I LIKE my lawn and the work I've put into it. It's not machismo. (Do I have to revisit the reluctant "yes, Lancer, you're butch" comment? No? Good.)
But I don't want to imagine NOT being able to do the things I love. So I fight to keep doing them. I know it's ridiculous, but there's some part of me that fears if I don't do, say, mowing the lawn, I'll never be able to do it again. This will pass...but it's scary nevertheless, especially when I reach the point I have to use a cane part of the day. I like my independence. I like being outdoors. I like being able to move.
And, hell, if anyone has some psychological insights, fire away. Comments such as, "Oh you Poor Thing" are welcome, too.
Sounds strange, but one thing I do like is that I can bitch and moan to my heart's content here.
Lambert: I can't see a goddamn thing. Kane: Quit griping. Lambert: I like griping. "Alien" (1979)
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