So I go through the effort of picking through pictures of me growing up because my T wants to look at some childhood pictures with me. I understand, he's looking for things that might bring up at least body memories. I go against my better judgement and take them to my session last night. And my T decided he really didn't want to look at pictures right then, he has other things he wanted to discuss.

Am I wrong in feeling short-changed?? I don't know if I feel more let-down or re-abused. And since the anger and desire to act out are both pretty much even right now - it could be either. Or maybe both.

Not every T is right for everyone. I'd go back, tell this T how that made you feel, then decide if you can continue with that one or, if you need to find a new one.

No you are not wrong to feel short changed. T told you he was going to do something then, didn't follow through, minor perhaps but that's still a break of trust.

Agreed.... I'd make it clear to him the level of effort and work you put into it and that him just skipping over it belittled the effort and work it took.

Me and that T would have a come to Jesus meeting. Haha. That would not have went well with me.

actually i'm more thinking of just quitting this whole T business. what's the point?

Wow Mark. One of my worst nightmares. I entirely understand feeling shortchanged and invalidated. I agree w/Blue and Scott.

I don't know the T's intentions, but it seems the last damn thing you need is more invalidation. Especially if it's careless.

At the very least - yeah, I know you feel like quitting - please go back to the T, tell him exactly how you feel about it and see his reaction. Frankly, if it's more invalidation, I'd walk. Simply, some T's aren't equipped to deal with CSA. And, frankly, despite letters after their names, some aren't equipped to even be in the business.

Fortunately, you're in Denver and there are probably plenty of choices out there. Heal well, brother.

Hey MarkK, Don't quit T, just quit THAT T. I've seen a few lame, thoughtless therapists and two REALLY good ones that are worth their weight in gold. The payoff from work with a T who clicks with you is HUGE, at least in my experience.

Bob

I know, I'm one to talk since I no longer go to T, but that's after 20+ years of doing it. Find a T that works for you, at least try another one or two before you give up on the idea.

Trust me it's harder when "stuff" comes up and you don't have a T. Not impossible but, a lot harder.

i will talk to him and hear his side - I trust him enough still to know he will tell me what he was thinking. We'll go from there.

I also find that alot of T don't seem to grasp just how hard it is to follow their advice. And how if they diverge from the preset techniques and structure I at least get really messed up. Even the smallest tangent like postponing an appointment for 24 hours has a big impact on my mood and capacity to be an active participant in the process. I need them to follow all the steps they lay out, lest I too start to diverge and miss appointment when it then becomes a downward spiral.

I also seem to have had much more success with "less successful" medical proffesionals.. dealing with psycologists as opposed to psychiatrists. I've found that the shrink look down their noses at psychologists and thats fine by me because psycologists tend to be more open to trying new techniques as opposed to plagarizing Jung or Freud

I think the psychiatrist plays more of role with medication management and protocol. The therapist, psychologist deals with the actual working with the survivor. My psychiatrist is extremely positive and respectful of my therapist. She said he is doing the hard work. I guess it depends--but I agree the therapist is the one doing the hard work and helping me heal emotionally and psychologically from the abuses.

I saw him today - things are ok. I misunderstood exactly what he was expecting - we went through photos today - in fact he spent an extra 20 minutes with me.
I'm better - at least where he is concerned.

Boy, am I pleased to hear this outcome, Mark. I absolutely LOVE success stories.

Good to hear it worked out well, Mark. Understand the feeling invalidated part at the prior meeting.

Great.