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#412586 - 10/09/12 11:21 AM and what's THAT about?
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
So I go through the effort of picking through pictures of me growing up because my T wants to look at some childhood pictures with me. I understand, he's looking for things that might bring up at least body memories. I go against my better judgement and take them to my session last night. And my T decided he really didn't want to look at pictures right then, he has other things he wanted to discuss.

Am I wrong in feeling short-changed?? I don't know if I feel more let-down or re-abused. And since the anger and desire to act out are both pretty much even right now - it could be either. Or maybe both.
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#412590 - 10/09/12 11:45 AM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
Blue1966 Offline


Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
Not every T is right for everyone. I'd go back, tell this T how that made you feel, then decide if you can continue with that one or, if you need to find a new one.

No you are not wrong to feel short changed. T told you he was going to do something then, didn't follow through, minor perhaps but that's still a break of trust.

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#412607 - 10/09/12 01:24 PM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
Agreed.... I'd make it clear to him the level of effort and work you put into it and that him just skipping over it belittled the effort and work it took.

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#412624 - 10/09/12 04:25 PM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Me and that T would have a come to Jesus meeting. Haha. That would not have went well with me.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#412665 - 10/10/12 12:04 AM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
actually i'm more thinking of just quitting this whole T business. what's the point?
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#412666 - 10/10/12 12:37 AM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Wow Mark. One of my worst nightmares. I entirely understand feeling shortchanged and invalidated. I agree w/Blue and Scott.

I don't know the T's intentions, but it seems the last damn thing you need is more invalidation. Especially if it's careless.

At the very least - yeah, I know you feel like quitting - please go back to the T, tell him exactly how you feel about it and see his reaction. Frankly, if it's more invalidation, I'd walk. Simply, some T's aren't equipped to deal with CSA. And, frankly, despite letters after their names, some aren't equipped to even be in the business.

Fortunately, you're in Denver and there are probably plenty of choices out there. Heal well, brother.

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#412686 - 10/10/12 10:34 AM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
Robert1000 Offline


Registered: 06/27/12
Posts: 336
Hey MarkK, Don't quit T, just quit THAT T. I've seen a few lame, thoughtless therapists and two REALLY good ones that are worth their weight in gold. The payoff from work with a T who clicks with you is HUGE, at least in my experience.

Bob

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#412687 - 10/10/12 10:37 AM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
Blue1966 Offline


Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
I know, I'm one to talk since I no longer go to T, but that's after 20+ years of doing it. Find a T that works for you, at least try another one or two before you give up on the idea.

Trust me it's harder when "stuff" comes up and you don't have a T. Not impossible but, a lot harder.

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#412698 - 10/10/12 01:45 PM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
i will talk to him and hear his side - I trust him enough still to know he will tell me what he was thinking. We'll go from there.
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#412987 - 10/13/12 07:47 AM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
Treehugger75 Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 158
Loc: Ontario Canada
I also find that alot of T don't seem to grasp just how hard it is to follow their advice. And how if they diverge from the preset techniques and structure I at least get really messed up. Even the smallest tangent like postponing an appointment for 24 hours has a big impact on my mood and capacity to be an active participant in the process. I need them to follow all the steps they lay out, lest I too start to diverge and miss appointment when it then becomes a downward spiral.
_________________________
I will never ALWAYS be right, I wasn't wrong, I am whats left.

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#412989 - 10/13/12 07:50 AM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
Treehugger75 Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 158
Loc: Ontario Canada
I also seem to have had much more success with "less successful" medical proffesionals.. dealing with psycologists as opposed to psychiatrists. I've found that the shrink look down their noses at psychologists and thats fine by me because psycologists tend to be more open to trying new techniques as opposed to plagarizing Jung or Freud
_________________________
I will never ALWAYS be right, I wasn't wrong, I am whats left.

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#413019 - 10/13/12 04:51 PM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1714
I think the psychiatrist plays more of role with medication management and protocol. The therapist, psychologist deals with the actual working with the survivor. My psychiatrist is extremely positive and respectful of my therapist. She said he is doing the hard work. I guess it depends--but I agree the therapist is the one doing the hard work and helping me heal emotionally and psychologically from the abuses.

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#413039 - 10/13/12 10:32 PM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
I saw him today - things are ok. I misunderstood exactly what he was expecting - we went through photos today - in fact he spent an extra 20 minutes with me.
I'm better - at least where he is concerned.
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#413044 - 10/13/12 11:24 PM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Boy, am I pleased to hear this outcome, Mark. I absolutely LOVE success stories.

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#413048 - 10/14/12 12:46 AM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
kcinohio Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 338
Loc: Ohio
Good to hear it worked out well, Mark. Understand the feeling invalidated part at the prior meeting.

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#413049 - 10/14/12 01:05 AM Re: and what's THAT about? [Re: MarkK]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Great.



Edited by phoenix321 (10/14/12 01:06 AM)
_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

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