Gecko - this is me, exactly - except it was a step-dad, not a real father. if it helps any - i totally understand what it feels like!

BTW - i love geckos ever since living in the tropics. i even have a little silver one on a neck chain.

Lee

Lifes-a-Dream, Traveler, Gecko, Puffer, etc --

Thanks, guys. I don't know how I feel today. I just know I can't watch TV today because it's going to be wall-to-wall Sandusky. And here in my small town, it's going to be funeral home visitation day for my perp.

Which one of you said that this could end up being an important subconscious milestone? That makes sense. I hope that's true.

Cant

Hey Cant, it must be difficult for you
I hope you are not feeling alone in all this. I wish to have some magic wand that could erase all bad that happened to us, unfortunately that is not possible.
Time marches on as Lee said in other thread and we are inevitably moving from our past, I hope.
Hang on brother

((((CR))))

mine is still alive--found him several months ago--i have sat in front of his house and in the parking lot where he still serves. it was a conflicting time of mixed emotions. i could not enter the church where he works--fear gripped me. I still do not know if I should confront when part of me is still fighting the feelings that i was special to him. if he was dead, there would be no option, only look forward i guess. it is very disturbing--what will end the torment--confronting him (or would this make it worse seeing his face and probably not hearing an apology), or leaving it the way it is.

.

Lifes,

Thank you. I don't know how I feel right now.

I have so much to do today and this week that there's no time for a breakdown. I won't have one. I won't. Not this time.

I don't feel alone when I have my brothers at MS to talk to. My new T is OK but I don't think he gets it either.

Without MS, I would be completely lost. It's the only place where I fit in. You guys mean so much to me.

Cant

For many of us, this truly is the only place we can go where we'll be understood.

Even with the people in my life who I have told, when the really bad days hit, this is where I come, because no one else gets it.

Take care of you. I'm triggered over the sentencing etc as well and I'm struggling between work and following the news..... need to stop following the news....!

Hang in there.

I am going to write my perps , one my uncle and one my babysitters son, and tell them just what damage they caused and let them know thy I forgive them but will never forget. I am going to go into great detail. I should do this before they pass tho. I want them to know that I know. The old me would just go pound their heads into the ground with a ball bat or the heal of my boot. They are lucky I am saved.

My "T" informed me that, "You" have the power now. After all these years...

When he contacted me, I had nothing to say. I let him die in his shame.

I "get" that you might have mixed emotions over this. I "get" that it is not all black and white.

In the end, I hope you find peace and comfort in his passing...


In The End (Linkin Park)

island

Yea, I hear ya, CR. As frustrating as it is to hear the words, most people deliver insulting platitudes when they're trying to encourage and comfort us. They don't know any better.

I suppose it underscores the importance of us (survivors) educating the public on the matter.

The perp that assaulted me and my sister (our father) turns 90 in 3 months. Reading your post I am certainly staring at what the future holds for me, and many other survivors, as well.