i think we all ask that question - Is it worth it? - and the answer varies from day to day and hour to hour - as we are in the midst of things. sounds like you've got some better perspective now. hoping eventually to hear a more positive answer that "perhaps"!
keep writing, man!
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago