i think we all ask that question - Is it worth it? - and the answer varies from day to day and hour to hour - as we are in the midst of things. sounds like you've got some better perspective now. hoping eventually to hear a more positive answer that "perhaps"!
keep writing, man!
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho