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#412478 - 10/08/12 11:18 AM Hi
Blue1966 Offline


Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
Hey, I hate introductions so, just ask, or wait for me to post it. Glad I found the site.

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#412480 - 10/08/12 11:27 AM Re: Hi [Re: Blue1966]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Welcome Blue,

Are you a survivor, or supporter? Either way, this is the place for both parties to give and receive support, to heal and to thrive in recovery.

I am glad you found this healing place too,

Sam
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#412487 - 10/08/12 12:24 PM Re: Hi [Re: Blue1966]
Blue1966 Offline


Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
Both, my partner and I are both survivors.

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#412503 - 10/08/12 05:20 PM Re: Hi [Re: Blue1966]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Welcome to you both.

May I offer? Abuse is done in secret, recovery is done OUT LOUD! Heh heh, it is a bit of a cliche, but it has merit. What you have done in registering and creating these posts is monumental. You are taking the first steps to unloading these negative harmful feelings that belong to the perpetrator but that survivors feel they need to carry as well. It has been said that sexual abuse is the perfect crime, because the abused becomes a sort of accomplice in a manner of speaking, too ashamed and shocked to reveal the abuse. I kept her(the perpetrator's) secret for 34 years! It is time fellow survivor to blow that whistle and you will see the support running from every corner to give you the protection and healing you need. Post, reply, share.., do everything you can to move to a stable, healthy place, you have waited long enough and now is the time.

Ready? laugh
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#412504 - 10/08/12 05:37 PM Re: Hi [Re: Blue1966]
Blue1966 Offline


Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
More like, where do you go when you are past the professional Ts for this and that reason. But thanks for the warm welcome smile

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#412513 - 10/08/12 06:58 PM Re: Hi [Re: Blue1966]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
Blue1966,

Welcome. You are in a place of healing here at MS. As was said above, use us to get as much out as you feel comfortable in posts. Private message any of us if you are more comfortable with that. Most of us are still with therapists, but can share with you our experience and what we've learned.

Jude
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

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#412650 - 10/09/12 09:15 PM Re: Hi [Re: Blue1966]
Blue1966 Offline


Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
After a while (like 20 years) T becomes a case of "And you want me to pay you to tell me what I already know?" Just not much point in it.

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#412744 - 10/11/12 12:40 AM Re: Hi [Re: Blue1966]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
I've been in therapy for 10 years but never would bring up the CSA till just this past August. I paid for alot of T up till then without much to show for it because I wouldn't be honest. Just the opposite of you I guess. Use the site as suites you best. We're here for you.

Jude
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

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#412838 - 10/11/12 07:19 PM Re: Hi [Re: Blue1966]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1437
Loc: California
Hey blue,

I also spent years and years in therapy and I used to complain "All I ever got out of all that therapy was a whole lot of self awareness but no change".

Well, after coming to terms with my sexual abuse, I decided to seek out a specialist who knows how to work with trauma and childhood sexual abuse issues. BIG. HUGE. DIFFERENCE it has made in my life - seeing a specialist.

D
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#412881 - 10/12/12 07:25 AM Re: Hi [Re: Blue1966]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2590
I agree 100% with Megellan. Getting a T who knows and understands trauma and sexual abuse (and the male side of it as well) makes a huge difference.

Only T I found that had a clue (and doesn't work with adults any more) still wasn't all that great. Got me through the beginning, but by the 2nd year it wasn't beneficial anymore.

So now I got squat if I really wanted a T. I did talk to a lady at the local crisis center for awhile, but in only a month I was done on getting any benefit out of it. She's worked for over 13 years with abuse victims, but was utterly clueless with men and had no experience in male survivor issues at all.

Utilize the "Shopping for a Therapist" guide from the main site. It'll help you avoid people who are clueless.


Edited by JustScott (10/12/12 07:27 AM)

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