I remember reading a post about one guy sharing how he experienced eye-aches
I had a lazy eye allllll my life.
When i visited my therapist once in Toronto , he pointed out
to me ( indirectly) to put some effort in using my right
( lazy eye) eye.
About 18 months ago, i have been putting more time in concentrating in using my right eye.
A couple years ago i went to see if i was a canidate for laser
eye surgury.
I have had always worn thick glasses when i was a kid.
But wearing now the highest strength disposable contact lenses
or otherwise i would be wearing very thick glasses.
I just dont want to.
So after an examination to see if i could be a canidate for
eye surgery - a different lady entered the room where i sat
and gently said " your eyes are too far off, we cant do the
surgery, sorry" .
She told me that my left eye is -12 and my right being sadly
-15 out of 20. Twenty being near blindness.
I was devastated! But i carried a smile on my face and
stood up and said " okay , well thanks" !
However!, since then i have forced myself to put awareness
to ONLY view everything around me with my right eye.
This has been incredibly difficult. Especially when others
would be speaking to me i had succomb to letting them assume
that my left eye is my lazy eye.
I ,today catch myself viewing far more with my left eye but
i continue to be persistent.
However as frustrating it is , i want to strenthen my right
eye, as much as i can.

Two months ago i went for a contacts fitting; and requested
an eye exam, needing to see if i can see anything more
off those interesting letter charts.
Let me tell ya, before i could not see further than the
7th row at the very most and even then i would struggle
at the 7th row.
I beleve there are 9 rows. As you know letters get considerbly smaller one row underneath the above row.
Well, i was floored how much progress i had made.
Now i would be able to read letters from the 9th row with little difficulty!
My purpose for applying to practise using my right eye was
not only to develop more strength in vision but also in hopes i could order contacts that could make up the difference
between the left and right eye.
Unfortantley, i forgot ( due to my lower attention span one
year ago ) that i am wearing the highest strenght disposable
contacts that are available.
I was diappointed to hear that i could get stronger contacts.
When the nice lady ( Heather), decided to jump in to commend
my success in my achieving my goals without sharing any of this " Look you are actually looking through with your right eye. You should give yourself a pat on the back" !

I thought i am doing a good job, i should be proud of myself.

Now if i could only use this methos and apply it and channel
it somehow to in hopes of growth in my genitalia that would
be someTHING! Hey? !!!

Oh yeah,,, in regards to the lazy eye.... i did buy an
eye patch . Now i only have used this a few times.
A pharmacist told me i may experience eye aches using this.
But i figure if using it for a few minutes at a time, i was
okay.
So maybe this may help someone out there.
Sorry, if this was like reading a faking essay!

xo
Goran

Goran

It sounds as though you have 2 or 3 separate problems with your eyes. You have a lot of nearsightedness, but different in both eyes. You also have trouble coordinating your eyes.

I am very interested in eye problems as they relate to abuse issues. You did not mention this in your post, but it's often the case. In my reply here I'm going to talk mostly about lazy-eye or strabismus.

Others in MS have experienced these eye problems:

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...true#Post410354

In a sense I have the same problems as Goran. I also have nearsightedness, mainly in my right eye. Not surprisingly I grew up trying to use my right eye for closeup and the left eye for distance. I have had a lot of trouble with using my eyes together. I'm certain my problem was caused by abuse at an early age.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=289501&page=1

I struggled through surgery and 2 bouts of vision therapy where there was no insight as to the roots of my problem of lazy-eye or strabismus, even though they helped in management of the problem. It was not until I was well into recovery that my eyes started being coordinated. I have even found that watching 3-D movies helps a lot.

Another chain of posts on this:

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8724#Post328724

In this thread of posts you will find didi's most interesting comments on my eye condition as indicated by a variety of photographs. Didi discusses my eye condition after severe abuse at age 12. The comments are in blue.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...0799#Post350799

I have discussed the relationship of dissociative disorder to my eye problems. I'm still convinced that it's extremely important to what I experienced with my eyes.

Puffer

Thanks Pufferfish , and to everyone who replied to your posts
regarding lazy-eye.
Very iformative.
Ths might be an odd question -well a curoisity. i think
i have ADHD.
Should i allow my thoughts surface /and the feelings that accompany them ; my fear of commiting suicide wont happen .
( I was sucidal at age 4).
But the feelngs of anger,could this be a feeling i WOULDNT feel thru oly b/c i was thratened ;by my dad's sister-in-law?
What a BITCH!
Is there hope to repar some of the loss of poor eyesight
(or the difference ) of one eye towards the other?

I am not a good writer/ or i dont write well.
I dont want to follow the rules in writing ,sometimes.
just get fun,and encouraged when i see people own themselves and take responsibility and have a wonderful life.
DONT MESS UP ANY CHILDREN!!!
okay,
off into idfferent tangents
Goran

Goran

I have some information from didi on eye doctors in your area. However your PM box is full. If you will delete some messages I can send it to you. I could post it in here but it's not something everybody would be interested in since it's only for your area.



Goran,

I think I had ADHD also. They didn't even make that kind of diagnosis when I was small. It's hard to think back and remember what symptoms I might have had as a child. A lot of survivors have ADHD. But not all ADHD is caused by abuse. I think that I still have some stuff like that. Early abuse such as we both had causes symptoms like we had. It can be helped a lot.

I'm also sure I had some kind of dyslexia. I had an agony of learning to read. Now I read slowly but I understand what I read.

The feelings you have hidden should be released slowly and only when you are ready. I know I had devastating feelings which have taken some time to deal with. If you can find a counselor or therapist to help you that would be very good.

I think I also tried to commit suicide when I was 4. We lived on the edge of a large body of water. I waded out into the water until it was over my head. I might have stepped off of a ledge under the water or something. I don't think I fully understood what I was doing. I probably disappeared suddenly. My mother was talking with a friend on the beach. She didn't know what happened until she didn't see anymore because I was under water. Then she rushed into the water and 'fished' me out. She wasn't very sympathetic. In fact she expressed anger. No thanks at all for my pain.

Puffer

P.S. I just read a bunch of your previous posts. The abuse I got at age 4 was in the Los Angeles area. The guy was using me and some other boys to make kiddie porn. Very cruel on me and them too. The abuser died of a heart attack. Most of my abusers died of heart attacks.

I also noticed that you already have a counselor or therapist.

i had lazy eye back in like the 3rd grade. they covered my glasses lens over my strong eye with a red filter, and i wrote everything with a red ink pen. made the lazy eye do a lot of work. don't know that it 'cured' it - but seemed to make it a lot better.

One of my daughters was born with "lazy-eye". A simple out-patient surgery corrected it and you'd never know now that it was like that.

RE: MarkK,
The Red lens over the "Good" eye and writing with a red pen is used as an anti-suppression tool. It forces your other eye to stay on. (You would not be able to see the red writing if your other eye was "Off".)

RE: Garydosh,

The corrective surgery for Amblyopia(Lazy Eye) is for cosmetic purpose only. In most cases the person needs Vision Therapy to re-train the brain to make both eyes focus on the same point in space. (Help both eyes work together equally as a team.)

Here is a relevant post:

http://www.covd.org/Home/AboutVisionLearning/ADDADHDVision/tabid/112/Default.aspx