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#412306 - 10/06/12 12:26 AM see in others but not ourselves
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1571
Loc: kansas
i've noticed this a lot. especially amongst us survivors...

being able to see all the good and positive things in others when they are having a hard time, but have a hard time seeing the good and positive in myself...

i've talked to many of the guys here who have told me that they were such rotten boys, dirty boys, whore-ish. i also hear that they are bad men too and that they are dirty, perverted and so on...

yet, when i hear this from them all i can see is their positive traits. their goodness inside them. their caring and compassionate souls. i tell them how they have all this in them but they have a hard time seeing it..

then down the road i go through some tough times and then it turns to me not being able to see all those good things in me...

interesting how i can see all these good, positive things in others but i have a hard time seeing them in me.
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#412308 - 10/06/12 12:57 AM Re: see in others but not ourselves [Re: Obi]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11578
Loc: Denver, CO
I personally believe this is common among survivors. We judge ourselves in harsher terms than we would ever dream of doing so against others. We look through the filters of the messages we were taught through abuse, those old tapes that take so long to overcome, and continue to slap then on ourselves like a brand. Abuse taught us some of the harshest of labels, some of which I felt inclined to name here for a moment, but backed away due to their intensity.
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