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#412161 - 10/04/12 09:31 AM Hello from another newbie
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Hi Everyone, I just thought I should introduce myself.

I am a 40 year old male survivor of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I was abused from the age of about 4, to 16. Up to the age of 13, the perpetrator was my father, and thereafter my foster father. (So much for being removed from an abusive home...).

I have done a lot of therapy in my life and have reached the point where I am able to enjoy life, but there are a few things that still need work. (Does it ever stop?)

I have also recently started a blog, because I realize how fortunate I am to have made it this far on my healing journey, and I feel like I have something to give back to other survivors and those who are still victims.

I apologize in advance if my English is sometimes a bit iffy. It is not my first language. blush
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#412182 - 10/04/12 12:06 PM Re: Hello from another newbie [Re: crazy gecko]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1038
Your English is fine, and your blog looks great.

Welcome to the club.
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#412187 - 10/04/12 01:43 PM Re: Hello from another newbie [Re: crazy gecko]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1478
Loc: New England
Hi Gecko,

Welcome. This is a place for healing and you've shown alot of courage already in pursuing healing. Keep it up, and you'll find your way to daylight. We're all here to back you up.

Gary
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#412192 - 10/04/12 02:47 PM Re: Hello from another newbie [Re: crazy gecko]
Jwmcd2 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/03/12
Posts: 62
Hey gecko-- glad to see another newbie around like me. Though I'm not sure f the healing can ever truly "stop", I think it changes focuses and gets better. It's sort of like an artist: they cannot create something "perfect", but your skills improve more and more as you go.

It's a brave thing you're doing here though-- I've heard others say that to me, so I figure it's best to pass along that realization.

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#412234 - 10/05/12 01:47 AM Re: Hello from another newbie [Re: crazy gecko]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Thanks for the welcome, guys.

I have to admit - I'm kinda nervous about posting here. I've been in therapy, and have spoken to friends about being abused before, but I've never really been open about the sexual abuse part. This is also the first time I've really tried to connect with other survivors. I've never been a group-therapy kinda guy, but I really want to take the next step, and to do so I need to learn to be honest and open about having been sexually abused.

I guess I don't have to tell you how hard that is.

Anyway. I'm going to poke around in the other forums...
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

Top
#412235 - 10/05/12 02:30 AM Re: Hello from another newbie [Re: crazy gecko]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1340
Hi Gecko,

Welcome to MS.

I am glad you have found this place of healing and support.

I read your blog - I am very glad you addressed the myth regarding abused males becoming abusers. That myth has caused us great harm. If you want more information, in particular, information regarding the study from which that erroneous conclusion was drawn and research which not only debunks that myth but also discusses how that first study was flawed, you can find the post here.

There are several books you might find useful.

Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew

I am certain others will share titles they have found useful. You can find these titles, and others here at the bookstore.

Take your time and look around. You do not want to trigger yourself by reading too many posts at one time.

At your own pace, read the boards and wander into chat. The lounge (chat) is open 24 hours a day though it isn't always populated.

We also have moderated chats called Healing Circles. They meet on Sunday and Wednesday evenings at 9pm eastern time and one on Tuesday at 19:00 UTC (European and African time zone) which translates to 2 PM Eastern US time zone. The Healing Circle on Tuesdays is scheduled to resume in January.

Again, welcome to MS.




Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#412238 - 10/05/12 03:10 AM Re: Hello from another newbie [Re: crazy gecko]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Thank you so much, Anomalous, for pointing me in the direction of that study. I have seen it before, but couldn't find it again when I wrote that post. Not wanting to post what I could not substantiate, I left out those findings. I will write a follow-up post on my blog, based on that study. It is high time we start spreading the truth about this misconception.
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

Top
#412440 - 10/07/12 10:43 PM Re: Hello from another newbie [Re: crazy gecko]
kcinohio Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 293
Loc: Ohio
Hi gecko, welcome to the forum.

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#414108 - 10/23/12 11:22 PM Re: Hello from another newbie [Re: crazy gecko]
peter007 Offline


Registered: 10/23/12
Posts: 2
I am a new member too. Your English is great.

So far I have found one of the best ways to deal with abuse is to be open about it. It's hard sure, but it feels so much better to be open with a few people you trust, or in therapy etc. Even just writing about your experiences or feelings helps.

You are definitely not alone. We are all on a journey together, not one we want to be on, but we don't have a choice and it is not our fault.

Your blog is great. Keep it up.

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#414116 - 10/24/12 01:29 AM Re: Hello from another newbie [Re: crazy gecko]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Thank you.
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

Top
#414136 - 10/24/12 07:38 AM Re: Hello from another newbie [Re: crazy gecko]
thedudeabides Offline


Registered: 10/09/12
Posts: 27
Loc: Augusta, Georgia
Welcome CG,
I'm new to MS also but have found the "group" setting and relative privacy and security to be very beneficial. Reading the stories and thoughts of other survivors, and finding them so similar to my own, has given me a sense of belonging that I can't recall ever having before in my life. I hope the same can be true for you. Be well.
_________________________
I don't ask for much, I only want trust,
and you know it don't come easy.
Ringo Starr

They flutter behind you, your possible pasts;
Some bright-eyed and crazy, some frightened and lost...
And strung out behind us the banners and flags
of our possible pasts lie in tatters and rags.
Roger Waters


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