... or maybe just ask you what took you so long to tell him? and prove he really is a great friend.

Self acceptance of my sexual expression is one of the greatest gifts I gave to myself in all my life.

As others have said, it doesn't matter what I think I am with regards to my sexuality. What matters is that I can live with self acceptance.

I hope you can find that for yourself.

D

*

Hi Mike,
It sounds like you made it through that very uncomfortable situation and I'm proud of you. I'm 47 and I have been out since my late 20's. I don't hide it, but my partner and I don't run around shoving gayness in everyone's face. I hate that being gay will always have to come up somewhere down the line. I have learned throughout the years that I will let people get to know me, and when the "Gay Question" comes up, I will always say " I can't believe you didn't know I was gay".. lol Works every time and it seems to ease the pressure of that person.

My partner and I have been together for 13 years, well past many straight marriages and yet many straight people do not put our relationship on the same level of their marriage. I live in Arkansas and I hear gay jokes, mental illness jokes, and other crazy things. Sometimes I tell the person that it is not funny. Other times I might say "I have a friend who is gay and don't like gay jokes." The fact of the matter is we are gay, I've been gay since birth and I am proud to be gay. Others do not define us. We must be comfortable with the person we are.

You will know when and if you are ready. Just do not rush it and be the best you can be. We have enough burdens on us from CSA. I'm glad you shared this experience with us. We have all been there.
Keep the faith my friend,
Randy

I had an aunt who before she passed said, dying young is easy, getting old and leaving a corps full of life experience , well that is not for wimps.

So you being str8 would be a hell of a lot less tiring, no question, but as many have said the best part is just being who you are finally that the secrets dont rule you anymore. I played tennis today with a str8 buddy, just no problem at all. We joked and he said said now he knows what an ass whooping feels like. " not in my world I said" he just laughed cuz of course its a joke.

I just came out 2 years ago come the first week of october, i was so frozen for so long. the thaw is a process but the steak is finally ready, lol. Be as honest as you can, if he is really into you , his eyes will tell you. If he is not making eye contact it is more likely just a friendship, the only way to know is to be up front. Then there is the fear what if he is not gay. Then use arnolds line when he was still a body builder "take it as a complement" ! smile and walk away. nothing more need be said.

Ya its tiring but anything worth working for is the reward. Its like the spoiled rich kids, they havent got a clue of the value of things and dude, you clearly do.

Hugz

grant

Lol, I've been away from MS too long Thank you everyone.

I just want to say, I'm doing pretty damn good. I just got married to my soul mate, I'm about to get my degree, and I'm feeling so comfortable in my skin that it's kinda unbelievable.

I just loved being able to put out something so stupid as "someone said something stupid" and you all supported me.

Thank you
thank you so very very much

Stay strong
mike

Wow Mike,
those are great news from you, thanks for bringing something so inspiring and sharing it with us
Congratulations on marriage to your soul mate and on your degree
Just keep up like that!

Pero

I'll second that.....

Glad you are ok man. I applaud you. We all deal with it in our own way you know?

Kewl Beans!!

i agree with smalltown80sboy, i do sometime get tired of dealing with some bigots out there. not sure if those guys were a real-bigot or just some ignorants. i know the saying 'dont let the words get to u'. but somehow it just gets to us and we hate it i know, happenned to me zillion times too :p
yeah i do think life gets better for us. just hang in there as i keep telling myself this as well.