in a fit of over-zealous do-gooderism, i said yes to a request from my pastor. he asked me to mentor a young guy of 16 or so who he thought i could help. i don't know what i was thinking. i guess this kid has some issues that might be similar to mine in my youth. i don't know details yet cuz we haven't even talked more than to set up a meeting at a coffee shop. it is tomorrow and i am nervous. it could be really triggering for me - or it could be really healing - maybe both! and most of all i want to be supportive and encouraging and not let the young man down. so if you pray, please remember us - that it will go well and i'll be able to say the right things and have wisdom beyond my own limitations. no idea where this is gonna go...

thanks,
Lee

Will do Lee. This is a very unselfish thing to do and you will be blessed because of you blessing someone else. I pray The Lord guides you and allows Himself to work thru you brother. I am proud of you. I will pray for the young fella to that his heart will be touched by the Holy Spirit ad God allows to to help him. I rebuke the devil from your encounters with this young man in the name of Jesus , amen

Hang on Lee,
I pray for you and that young man.
I hope it will be great experience and as less triggering as possible.
You have so much to offer, I'm not scare at all, I' more than sure that you'll be very supportive and full with wisdom as you've been here on many occasions

Pero

This is something you were called to do . Look at this spiritually when I allowed my life to stop being about myself and my abuse it was only than that I realized that I am supposed to be at others crossroads, if I am not where I am suppose to be than that person is not going to go the direction in life they should.

when i realized life was about gods plan not my own than i had something to live for. My life up until than was about me meaning ,sexual abuse, living in 26 different homes, watching my mother get beat from broken ribs to broken jaw and seeing guys abuse her me and my sister, going to 16 different schools, and on and on and on u get the picture ?

That was when life was about me .So when i listen to my pastor say one night at bible study that this might shatter some of your worlds but i hate to tell you that life is not about you


I sat there like what does he mean? He says life is not about u and your tiny little world and tiny little thoughts it is much bigger than u it is about letting God get you into a position to be usable
It is about getting yourself ready to do his work because life is not just about u .
You have to be constantly working on your life so u can be there for others 5 yrs from now 10 yrs from now hell even 2 months from now u have to be at the crossroads for these people God will set the time and place and if you are not there they miss out and u miss out on the blessings.

Right than i realize i could stop living my life for me which i stated before was hell and start living for Christ start living for God because as long as i have something to live for other than myself who i wanted to get as far away from that guy as i could than life could suddenly be manageable . hence being born again giving my life to Christ letting the old pass away and allowing the newness of Christ to reign.


When i had that spiritual revelation that night at bible study i have given everything i have living for him and letting god have that old guy that old man. he has set so many divine appointments allowing me to be used by him to help many many people and i take no glory for myself because there is none to be had.

He has used me to meet people at their crossroads much like he is going to use you brother Lee allow this encounter to be about Gods work not your own ,allow the holy spirit to guide the conversation allow god to use you
remove yourself from the equation .

You will soon find yourself being able to open up about stuff you never thought possible and there will be no pain and if there are tears let it be known that it will be Gods will and not your own. God is very much in control so let him be.

I hope this made sense .I firmly believe we did not have our experiences for nothing that God had a plan and if we surrender to that plan life has meaning .If you take all that has happen and put God and Christ in the middle of it all it is a testimony .

You take all that has happen to us in our lives and take God and Christ out of it and none of it makes sense.

I no i have a testimony and who better to help heal the world than those of us who have been healed by God to lead people who are in fact broken in need of a healing to God. God chooses who he will use he chooses to use the weak to confound the strong he uses the lowly things and exalts us above measure does that make sense?

we did suffer much but if that meant this was what it took for me to know Christ so be it i count every thing else as dung i count it all loss to no my Savior. now go do what he has called us all to do go bear the infirmities of the weak allow the spirit to move through you

peace and blessings

*

Update on this mentoring situation:

we met and talked for a couple of hours. good beginning. just getting to know one another. this young man is 18 - though he looks much younger - and has had lots of hurt - not exactly like mine - but some that are similar. death of father, step-father with little in common, cold and distant mom, adjustments to international moves, extreme religion issues, etc.

i don't know if there is abuse in his background yet - and didn't go into detail about mine. he is aware of my step-dad's physical and verbal abuse and school bullying as generalities - that is all. we'll see whether it is helpful to go into more depth or address the CSA monster under the bed as time goes on.

he has seen through the cult that his mom is part of (their leader claims to be the reincarnation of Jesus!) - but living with her, he does not have the freedom to assert his own beliefs (which seem amazingly solid for a kid from such a dysfunctional family) nor attend the place or style of worship that he chooses. it is ok for him to attend the men's group led by my pastor and meet with me. he needs someone who understands and can speak truth and support him when he feels weak and confused and overwhelmed.

Thank you all for your encouraging words and prayers. i had peace about the time we spent together. we have planned to meet again next week - same time & place.

Lee

This is awesome bro. You are doing a great thing here. My prayers will stay with you and him. Be blessed

another thought just came to me: i used to think i could only help someone else if their circumstances had been the same or worse than mine. i wouldn't even think of trying to help someone who seemed more normal or healthy than me. i didn't feel like i was qualified or had anything to offer. i am starting to see that maybe i can also help those who didn't go through things as bad as my experiences.

when one of our kids had a broken bone, the doctor said that when it healed it would be stronger at that spot than it was before the injury. maybe that can apply to us survivors, too? - that the places we have been hurt and healed might end up stronger than the same place in a "normal" person's life who had never been hurt or needed healing? that is reason to hope.

lee

Hey Lee, I'm more than happy while reading your update. I hope that boy will find needed support and father's image in you!
But must say, o man, it is very painfully seeing someone so emphatic, so full with wisdom, intelligence and knowledge as you Lee (yes it is true, those are just some of your qualities) to question self
Must add that many of us are feeling sometimes like that, it is terrible and I hate it
Why is so difficult for us just to be as wee indeed are? We can offer so much but with some internal burden it is like we are in foggy cloud losing energy to basic things as moving to nearest point and not being able to use every possibility that shows at horizon.
You can do it Lee, you have so much to offer!
I'm reading about fate in God here a lot and in that respect I hope we will also found fate in ourselves, we have to find it, it is more than important! Let us believe in ourselves and our strength, we endured so much in our lives. I hope we will accept it with less pain, WE ARE STRONG MEN!

Pero