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#410938 - 09/21/12 11:07 AM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1428
Loc: California
**trigger warning** - Do not read if you've had MB addiction issues!!


Something tells me that I should share this experience. As I said earlier, I grew up severely repressed (fundamental christianity) and was denied opportunity to explore my own body without incredible shame. I worked hard at letting all the shame go and was pretty good about it until I was 30 or so.

I met a guy, we became really good friends - best friends - and we became intimate with each other. He identifies as straight, I told him I was mostly gay. One evening when we were both tipsy, he asked if I ever jerked off with another guy. I was surprised to hear him ask. Well, one thing led to another and we jerked off together.

That's not the exciting part. Here's the exciting part ...

When he saw that I was racing to orgasm, he asked me why? I said "isn't that the point?" He said "NO!!" I was puzzled. Then he requested that we take our time. I was pretty stoked about that, so I relented.

After about an hour, something happened to my body that I'll do the best to explain. After coming close several times and stopping, and doing that for a long time, I suddenly found my body communicating to me. It was telling me "thank you". It was as if my body had its own likes and dislikes (aside from my own thinking), and was communicating to me in subtle ways where to move, where to touch, and linger.

It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. My friend taught me how to learn about my body, how to honor my body, how to love my body, how to start loving myself. My friend taught me to take my time, enjoy my time, enjoy my presence, and enjoy my body. My friend taught me to let go of the moment, to stop thinking, to embrace Love for myself. Yes, all in the act of masturbating.

It was because of that experience that I learned that I can have a relationship with my body. That my body has needs, that my body has wants and desires, that my body knows how to communicate those needs and desires, and that I need to be still and take my time and be silent and listen to it.

I learned this because of masturbation. And I am so forever grateful for that experience.

So, no, I've never had addiction issues with masturbation or porn. I do it when I need the release, and up until that experience with my friend, it was a quick dump and go. But now, occassionally, I'll take my time, to love my body, and to listen to my body, and to be in commune with it.

It's a gift that we can give to ourselves when wielded with the respect and love that it deserves.

D
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#410959 - 09/21/12 01:34 PM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Robert1000 Offline


Registered: 06/27/12
Posts: 336
No shit, Magellan. That's a cool story. A surprising story. But a good one. Thank you. Bob

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#410966 - 09/21/12 01:51 PM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
removed per user



Edited by ModTeam (05/02/13 01:35 PM)

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#410971 - 09/21/12 02:14 PM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
The bottom line is that we , even the Christians, sin. That is a fact. We are no better than anyone just because we believe. In our beliefs we do believe that sin is wrong. But no sin is any greater than another except blasphemy. What was sai yesterday by myself is my beliefs as a Christian and I will stand behind my beliefs. The discussion of religion was already going on or had been brought into the post when I seen it. I stated my belief on it and said that I wasn't sure if MB is a sin but from MY Christian belief that lust in the mind is sin. But it is no worse sin than judging or than murder. Sin is sin in my opinion and from what I have read and been told by my pastor. I do not think the bible addresses MB. I am not sure on that tho. If you are not a believer then someone saying it is a sin should not have any affect on you. That also is just my opinion. I will always stand up for my faith when I see it is being spoken about. I think as CSA survivors that most of us have issues with MB or did at one point and time. I mean can u blame us? We were mostly raise up in sexual environments.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#410972 - 09/21/12 02:22 PM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Country]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11133
Loc: Denver, CO
"My problem with the whole sin thing is, what are we supposed to do with that?"

That was my original dilemma for a very long time, regarding masturbation. Add to this the effects of abuse and the problem feels multiplied. I consider myself to walk a decent spiritual life, though admittedly there is always room to better myself. I dare not ever say I've arrived in this department.
_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#410974 - 09/21/12 02:31 PM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Good question Texan. I don't think there is an easy answer for that. I guess it is on the person and their own convictions to deal with it. I would think, now since I am recovering from CSA, that if MB made me feel bad then I wouldn't do it. In my own situation tho, every since I have been sanctified that I have not had the urge to do alot of things I did before. That is just me and my situation tho. Just because a Christian labelled something as sin don't mean you are a bad person because rest assure that Christians sin too. Now some people here don't believe in sin and that is their right and I still respect them.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#410982 - 09/21/12 06:00 PM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Country]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11133
Loc: Denver, CO
Country, I am interested in your take on my original question located here. Being unmarried, this thought has crossed my mind over the years.
_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#410983 - 09/21/12 06:41 PM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
I will read it Texan and get back with you in a minute. Thanks for asking for my opinion.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#410985 - 09/21/12 07:31 PM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Ok I read the article and it is a tough subject to answer for someone else Texan. I don't know your thoughts and things like that. As far as my convictions and my opinion which don't really mean a whole lot, then I would have to say Romans 13:14 is a clear answer. Now as I stated before, as far as I know the bible doesn't really address MB directly. It does however say to keep your thoughts pure. I can also tell you at work today it was a stressful day and inreally wanted to punch someone so I need alot more work.. There are alot of things that are not addressed directly in the bible. Like this, tatoos is not clearly addressed in the Old Testament, and i am going off my memory here so i may be off a little, it says not to mark your body but at tht time thy were taking brandings to show allegiance i believe.. My pastor , a man i trust said he disnt think it was a sin and said that on things that are not clearly addressed that it needs prayer for Gods guidance.. So I guess it may be left up to the person and their own convictions. I have heard people say that my sins are forgiven if I ask God for forgiveness and that is true but also god knows a persons heart also. I also believe that you must be saved and trying to live by Gods word for that forgiveness to happen by just asking do it. There are several people who say they are religious but go out getting wasted and then pass the offering plate on Sundays. I don't want to be like that. I want to live for the One who died for me. When I was sanctified and the Holy Spirit starting guiding me then I lost most of my urge to sin. Such as getting drunk and gambling and porn. Alot of people try to justify sin to make themselves feel better. I can put dog collar on a cat an make it kinda look like a dog but it dont make it a dog..I use I be like that. I say live by your convictions but if someone is not truly saved then their convictions may be off a bit. This is all just my opinion, but there will be alot of good people that hear " depart from me for I never knew you". Since I have been sanctified I have had no urge to MB. I just know for me I think it would be a sin. I can't speak for you or I can't tell any man that if he MB's it is a sin. I hate that I or we hijacked Gary's thread. I hope he got the answer he needed. I really wish NLT would back up why he said it was sin to MB. He probably knows more of the bible than me. Or JustScott as I think he knows more than me about it and is better at getting his point across. I was an adulterer and a drunkard. You may not agree with me on this and that is totally fine, to each their own. But that is my take on it. I hope there aren't too many typos. These dang keys on the iPhone are too small for me. Take care Texan
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#410997 - 09/21/12 08:22 PM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Alao alot of christians have a hard time doing this, me included

Consider everyone as equal and donít think that youíre better than anyone else. Instead associate with people with no status. Rom. 12:16
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
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