Newest Members
yayasdad, HereNow, Sharara, Unsure42, AndyLA
12639 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Bmurray (62), hancocksby (32), hankler (74), jimrh (55), MellowJoe (50), owlhead (47), Texas_Mike (62), tom baron (60)
Who's Online
3 registered (PhoenixRising, 2 invisible), 20 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12639 Members
74 Forums
64888 Topics
453670 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Topic Options
#410868 - 09/20/12 07:44 PM maybe...?
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3671
Loc: somewhere in Africa
an hour or so ago when i logged in to MS i started reading new posts like usual - and was brought to tears twice.

once was by what i see as the best of what we can do FOR one another. it was a note of kindness, support and encouragement that was healing and helpful - and - YES - loving!

the other was by a thread that i see as what we can do TO one another if we are not careful. i don't think anyone really wanted to intentionally hurt or disrespect or alienate anyone else - but things got heated and people got upset and it all went way out of control.

as i was reading - and crying - i was hurting for each one who posted - regardless of which "side" they were on. and i pictured us ALL as scared, hurt, angry, little kids who had been abused. THEY are the ones who were lashing out - and THEY are the ones reacting. the 3-yr-old or 5-yr-old or 12-yr-old or 15-yr-old (sorry if i missed your age!) who was victimized and could do nothing to stop it or resist or repair the devastating effects.

i want to always remember this image when i see someone behaving in a way that i find personally triggering. it is not the fellow-survivor that i am retaliating against - it is a perp in my past. the guy on the MS forums who caused the trigger is another hurting little kid - just like me.

Love Grace & Peace to you ...
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho

#410876 - 09/20/12 09:54 PM Re: maybe...? [Re: traveler]
Casmir213 Offline

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 851
Loc: Northeast, USA

Good point you make and thank you for it. I agree, our reactions to each other here are influenced by why we're here. It's good to realize this and it's definitely helpful to remember where we are coming from and what we are ALL dealing with when things do get heated. Keeping an image of that shared "hurt child" inside us all and reminding each other of this child's presence at such times builds a stronger MS community.

I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

#410892 - 09/20/12 10:50 PM Re: maybe...? [Re: traveler]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
Thank you Lee.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.