Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication, says that all judgements are the tragic expressions of unmet needs.
So if someone is judging me, I simply choose to hear the need they are expressing through their judgement. "You people are so sick." I could ask- are you needing is to stay healthy? Are you afraid, because you need to know that you / your children will be safe? Are you needing to choose the experiences that are good for you?
Judgement is an endless trap and leads nowhere. That is why in Christianity & other religions they emphasize non judging. It's our small human minds that judge.
Realizing this has given me so much freedom from fear of being judged as a kinky gay man, survivor of abuse, and mentor to children. I can hear the real human needs people have instead of getting wrapped up in what they think of me (which is really about them).
Oh, gee, that's so easy. They are either doing the sinning they are bitching about others they think are doing it, OR, 90% of the time, they are jealous they ain't doing it! lol Ignore them. They ain't Christian anyway just hypocrites.
A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"
There are a lot of constructive posts in the Spirituality Thread that are not judgmental, and focus on healing for those who choose to believe and want to follow that path. It is, for a lot of people, a source of healing. No one forces another member to come into this thread and read these posts. Yet here we are, getting the same argument and attack again with the ideas of: unless you heal my way and how I find it acceptable, you are a problem. Healing is different for different people, so why attack those who do not choose a secular progressive path? If God does not work for someone else ok, but trying to heal with His help does work for me and many others.
If someone wants to attack me personally for that, they should really ask themselves if attacking my chosen path to healing is really productive and judgmental. What exactly is that attack going to accomplish? It won't change me or who I am because I am finding new strength and healing on this path. If doing that simply makes someone feel better inside having jumped on another member, that reminds me a lot of perps who tried to silence me though fear.
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato
i judge. i judge myself. i judge others. i do it all the time. i am a sinner. i am weak. i repent. JHVH God Allah Gott Kami-san, please give me the strength and wisdom to hear your word, and love in the name of JHSVH Jesus, through the power of ruach elohim the holy spirit.
"You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat." - Romans 14:10
"Therefore let us stop passing judgement on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way." - Romans 14:13
"We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited." - 2 Corinthians 6:3
"Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns." - Matthew 16:23
judging is a skill. it is required to navigate life. options versus priorities. risks versus rewards. it can be learned and applied for practical purposes. my daughters are both 4-H champions with ribbons and trophies. judging others is a survival skill. who does not assess the potential threat of a stranger?
i expect to be judged every time i hit the submit. i come here to seek validation and approval, which requires your judgement. if someone judges me wrong and chooses to tell me in the spirit of love, i try to accept the critique in the spirit it was hopefully given. i welcome a gentle reminder from a concerned brother that i am going astray. i don't like to get lost unless it is on purpose.
kahlil gibran says. "And when one of you falls down he falls for those behind him, a caution against the stumbling stone. Ay, and he falls for those ahead of him, who though faster and surer of foot, yet removed not the stumbling stone."
so we must learn to develop our judging skills and apply them to our own actions and decisions with a deep and abiding love and a true desire to share that love.
matthew 5:14-16 "Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."
to claim a monopoly on morality is not only presumptuous, it is preposterous and perilous.
i leave you with
1 Timothy 1:5-17
"The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Some have departed from these and have turned to meaningless talk. They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm. We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me. I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen."
Romans 13:8-10 "Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
It's easy to judge when someone feels that another persons sins outweigh their own. They just don't understand and never will. I just accept them for who they are it is so much easier to love from a distance.
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: JustScott
They ain't Christian anyway just hypocrites.
I like the NLT version of that verse a little better: For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
It was only a matter of time until the original, literal premise of this thread turned its sights from "Religion," to "Christians."
I dare say that no one can describe a "Christian" with any universal text that all of us would agree upon. But if religion plays a major role in the healing and lives of your fellow survivors, why are some here so ready and willing to kick us in the ribs?
Islam kills (in very intensely torturous methods) gays. The rape victim is frequently blamed and-or killed...but minimally, the victim is considered "too unclean for real life." Why do I N E V E R see ANY objections or knee-jerk slashing about Muslims here? Anyone got the keyboard brass to answer that?
Its really quite disappointing and disturbing that some are told to stop bringing "politics" into the site, as they have no bearing on CSA....that we are brothers in healing and ought not be divided...When clearly, both religion AND politics seem to play a role in the healing of many survivors.
Drop-in visits with hate-guns has become standard op here. This has become a shooting range...NOT a Forum!
When you piss-upon the category known as "Christians," yer pissing on ME too...and a lot of other folks in MS....and people who will never join MS because they see these threads of division.
agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and
chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole
discretion of MaleSurvivor. I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor
resources are AT-WILL,
and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for
any reason by MaleSurvivor.