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#410740 - 09/20/12 11:09 AM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
NO ONE JUDGED ANYONE. JUST SHARED THEIR OPINION AND BELIEF.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

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#410743 - 09/20/12 11:20 AM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Robert1000 Offline


Registered: 06/27/12
Posts: 336
Actually, country, someone was judged. This post started with a question, why do I feel guilty when I masturbate? And then nltsaved said he knew it wouldn't be popular but he knew why... sin....

That's how this thread started. And let me tell you it's damn tiring when some Christians (and yes, I'm a Christian) act like they're the put-upon martyrs of the world. It's literally exhausting. Take this for example. You've got a bunch of guys dealing with issues of shame and guilt tied to the fact that they were FUCKED AND RAPED as children or as adults but AGAINST THEIR WILL! And then, as we're talking about the guilt and self-blame that we feel, as we try to sort through our feelings to see where we stand and how we can be decent and good men in our lives, some asshole walks into the room and drops this "sin" bomb and points at the dude who just asked a question that many of us have wondered about. Wait. That's not an example of what might have happened. That's exactly WHAT happened!

You don't find that offensive? You should. You're a good man. I see your posts. I can tell what you're like. You're a good person who's trying to find his way forward. We all are. You know as well as I do that this is a hard road, a struggle.

So please don't try to whitewash the record that all of us can see. Maybe nlt is having a bad day. I can understand that. I have bad days sometimes. And I'm certainly willing to look past it if he opens up and actually tries to heal himself. But I'm not going to act like what he wrote was just... expressing an opinion. He wasn't. He was assigning shame in response to an honest question. And that's bogus.

Bob

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#410745 - 09/20/12 11:27 AM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Country]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1402
Loc: California
Originally Posted By: Country
NO ONE JUDGED ANYONE. JUST SHARED THEIR OPINION AND BELIEF.


Dictionary definition of judgment: (dictionary.com)
1
a : a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion
b : an opinion so pronounced

You are NOT the authority of "moral values".

D
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#410746 - 09/20/12 11:29 AM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
It is a very hard road Robert. I appreciate every one here. There are gonna be times we disagree. I stand in no judgement of anyone here. I have been a low down no good nothing for most of my life. Still would be probably. I hate this all started. But I am kinda feeling like this happened for a reason. I hate that what he said incited all of this. I am sure or hope he didn't try to offend. I hold no ill will towards anyone here for their beliefs. But I am a Christian before I am anything and I hope others can respect that. I seen the posts and seen what was written. It didn't seem as bad as some are leading on to me. But I am not Gary and that is what we all need to thing of is the person we are replying to. If I offended by what I said I didn't mean to as I hope it didn't seem offensive.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#410748 - 09/20/12 11:39 AM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1402
Loc: California
I've seen this happen too many times on this board - someone drops in and makes some religious snap judgment "sin" and all hell breaks loose.

Y'all can see it. It happens every fucking time. Every. Fucking. Time.

So you know this, and you see it. Even knowing this and being aware of it, you'll go on right ahead and do it anyway. And when the flames and anger erupts (like is inevitable), you throw up your hands and wonder why? Your response makes absolutely no sense.

How about taking the responsible route, understand that these things only add fuel to a raging fire of shame for many, and withhold your personal judgments?

Why intentionally incite?
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#410751 - 09/20/12 11:45 AM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
The guy sai he thought it was a sin. If you don't think it is then ok. If Gary didn't think he was sinning then ok. It is a null point. But to go on a tyrant like this is what's disturbing. Geez. I am done with this. And Goary I hope what I said didn't offend you. That was not my intent anyway. Magellan none of the comments or beliefs where directed at you. So why u mad and jumping in here like this bashing?
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#410753 - 09/20/12 11:49 AM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1402
Loc: California
I'm angry because calling someone a sinner *is* a judgment, *and* INFLICTS *****SHAME*****

We're all trying to RECOVER from SHAME. Making comments like "its a sin" provokes feelings of shame and self pity in many. That's what us CSA survivors do to ourselves.

How can you not see this simple truth?

D
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

Top
#410755 - 09/20/12 11:52 AM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Guys this talk escalated beyond common sense, may I suggest everybody to calm down and move those hurtful feelings from public domain because it affects us all frown ?
Please remember that some things trigger some negative feelings and now negative energy is escalating, please step back, I'm sure tomorrow this discussion will seems much lighter!
_________________________
My story

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#410756 - 09/20/12 12:03 PM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
Country Offline


Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 642
Loc: Alabama
Well you ain't talking to or about me then Magellan cause I didn't call anyone a sinner.
_________________________
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Top
#410783 - 09/20/12 01:58 PM Re: All Guys Do It [Re: Jude]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2575
As a CSA survivor I think for me the reason I feel bad and shameful over the whole MB issue is that the abuse left me feeling dirty and used. It left me with all manner of wounded feelings and emotions.

Add to that, for me I struggle to not have all manner of degrading thoughts/feelings/fantasies go through my mind when the MB ensues. So when it's all over, I feel those dirty/wounded/shameful feelings again.

Maybe it ties in directly to the fact that most of us at some point feel we were at fault for the abuse or that we somehow caused it?

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