5 dates in, withheld from having any sexual stuff until the 5th when it just spontaneously happened.
During the 1st 4 dates, it was filled with all sorts of awkward and uncomfortable, and even a couple of disagreements. Our 3rd date was a disaster.
But I chose to do it dramatically differently than I've ever done before. I chose to be honest and vulnerable and take risks with him, while abstaining from having sex - and as a result of this exercise, I now can see that I can TRUST IN MYSELF and FOLLOW MY HEART!
5 dates in is too soon to call it a REAL relationship (where we're committed), but during our interactions between dates with ever increasing frequency, I can see that we're both calculating how to treat one another based on how we feel and how we perceive the other person feeling. That's a relationship!
This is the first time in my life I've ever had this type of healthy interaction with someone I am attracted to, where there are boundaries and open communication and respect. The first time that I'm not losing myself in my emotions of anxiety and fear and excitement. I'm present, I'm centered and I'm REALLY DIGGING THIS!!
Holy moly! Just a couple months ago, here on this very forum, I said that a romantic relationship just simply didn't exist in this universe for me.
And here I am!
Just wanted to share the progress with my brothers. RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE!!!!!
(edited to add: okay, i'm not speechless)
Edited by Magellan (09/18/12 07:17 PM)
Edit Reason: okay, i'm not speechless
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.
Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM