Hi Chris, my name is Tom. I am kind of in the same situation. However, I told my wife in a heated argument. For the past week or so, I have been down about what happened to me. I do not know why it has been affecting me this bad lately, but after 15 years, here I am struggling with it. I still have not said it out loud. My wife had to guess what happened. I could not bring myself to physically say it. I can type it, but not have it come out of my mouth. After telling her, which was only 3 days ago, I am not in constant worry and fear and shock, and so many other feelings. It has gotten easier to be around her, but it is still hard. As one of the posters said, when you tell someone, you make it "real" that is exactly what happened to me. I hope I do not scare you by telling you this, because in just 3 days, it is easier to deal with. Stil hell, but a little easier. I commend you on posting what you did. I think that if my wife would not have pushed me to the point of telling her, I would have kept it a secret forever. So by you coming here and speaking without having that fire that makes you, I think is great. I hope that we both can get some relief from this, and we can go on to live our lives to best of our ability. Take care, and if you ever want to talk feel free to message me.