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#410410 - 09/17/12 04:53 PM Seeing a "T" on thursday
jay75 Offline


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 145
I am going to be seeing a T on thursday and im scared to death. Is having anxiety over seeing a T normal? Or am I just overreacting?
_________________________
"Those are not your sins" A wise man

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#410411 - 09/17/12 04:58 PM Re: Seeing a "T" on thursday [Re: jay75]
Ivo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 267
Loc: Germany
It is normal since there would be talks about unpleasant events and memories sometime during your therapy and for that it would need a lot of efforts and trust.

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#410414 - 09/17/12 05:03 PM Re: Seeing a "T" on thursday [Re: jay75]
Yerac Offline


Registered: 02/22/12
Posts: 45
Loc: Southern CA
.

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#410415 - 09/17/12 05:04 PM Re: Seeing a "T" on thursday [Re: jay75]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1039
You're not overreacting. It's quite normal to be anxious when you think about exposing this part of you to a stranger for the first time.

It's a big step, and exhausting. Take care of yourself and be aware of your anxiety. Don't deny it, but don't let it control you, either. Remember to breathe.

I just saw a new "T" today too, but he's not my first. I remember my first session with my first T was tough, but the talking comes easier with time.

Think about it like you're opening the door to let the fresh air inside.

Stay strong, brother. We're here with you.
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#410417 - 09/17/12 05:15 PM Re: Seeing a "T" on thursday [Re: jay75]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1554
Definitely overreacting. I went with trepidation--did not know what to expect nor did I expect to say much. But the T made me feel at ease but I still was very guarded. Overtime I began to let down the defenses and only then did we start to discuss the abuse. I had hid it for 40 years, my secret and why tell anyone now. But I did, and it has been a healing journey. Surround yourself with loving and compassionate people who support you and do not make you feel unsafe. The journey will be easier but remember it is an emotional roller coaster--try to stay on and ride it over and over, because in the end you will have found yourself. Good luck

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#410418 - 09/17/12 05:17 PM Re: Seeing a "T" on thursday [Re: jay75]
jay75 Offline


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 145
I dont seem to have a choice about it. This is affecting my family. I saw a T for the first time several weeks ago but I was with my wife and It was easy for me to able to shut down I didnt even talk. This time its only me and a diff. T and I could barely keep it together making the appointment......... I feel physically sick.

Thanks guys at least its not only me.

-Jay-
_________________________
"Those are not your sins" A wise man

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#410421 - 09/17/12 05:30 PM Re: Seeing a "T" on thursday [Re: jay75]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1483
Loc: New England
Jay,

It took me 42 years, including ten years of therapy before I finally disclosed my abuse. You are way ahead of me man. Go for it!

Gary
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#411257 - 09/24/12 01:34 PM Re: Seeing a "T" on thursday [Re: jay75]
jay75 Offline


Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 145
So I didnt do it......... Cancelled at the last minute, im truly an idiot. Chicken s@#t. I think im actualy afraid to let it go. I think deep down I am afraid to rid myself of something that I have allowed to define me for so long. Am I holding on to this to punish myself for crap that wasnt my fault. WOW I think I have a freakin problem!! Is it possible for someone not to want change in their life? Thats the only reason I can come up with for not going. Well all I can say is thanks for all the encouragement guys but it fell on deaf ears. I need to do some serious soul searching. THIS SUCKS. (just venting)

-Jay-
_________________________
"Those are not your sins" A wise man

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#411260 - 09/24/12 01:42 PM Re: Seeing a "T" on thursday [Re: jay75]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1554
Jay75

It is hard, step back and give it another try. Don't have expectations--if you do not want to speak don't but go and see what you think of the T and how he treats you. It takes time, I did not open up right away about me-I was conditioned to think if I told him about the abuse and lost time he would look at me with 2 heads--but he did not--we talked about what i expected or wanted and the ground rules--he made me feel safe but I was still skeptical--took many sessions before I realized he was not judging me and his goal was to guide me to heal and make myself whole--

Hopefully you will take a chance and give the T a try. Don't beat yourself up. Good luck

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#411264 - 09/24/12 02:06 PM Re: Seeing a "T" on thursday [Re: jay75]
Dragon Boy Offline


Registered: 09/18/12
Posts: 29
Loc: uk
Don't beat yourself up mate. You'll do it when you're ready.

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