Newest Members
Won'tGiveUp, sillyputty, Pytbull, manipulated, donmarks
12383 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Alan Fountain (52), blindpet (31), egoror (49), Midas (33), uwa (78)
Who's Online
2 registered (traveler, 1 invisible), 25 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12383 Members
74 Forums
63646 Topics
444509 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#410144 - 09/14/12 08:56 PM Suicidal....
desertmouse Offline


Registered: 02/09/11
Posts: 9
Dear all,
I have posted here before, and I apologize for this message being short and to the point, but - - - I need advice on how to help my husband to get help asap. He told me tonight that he has been depressed for the past 3 months, and that he just knows that it is not a "choice" but somewhat a foregone conclusion that his life will end soon - he spoke of the "path has been set." Like there is no other choice for him. So, to be honest, I don't know what to do other than I need to get him help asap. Where do I start, take him to a hospital, online chat from 1in6.org?

Thanks!

Top
#410147 - 09/14/12 09:11 PM Re: Suicidal.... [Re: desertmouse]
blacken Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1251
Loc: Northern Ohio
Yes. Take him to the hospital. NOW. Tell the doctor what he said. They are going to ask him, usually indirectlly, what his 'Plan" is. & assess his danger level. if u believe he is lying or minimizing, tell the doctor. be very frank. give All the behavior & thinking details.
Dont take a back seat approach.
If ur worried about how he will react, think. u want him mad or dead. Tell him that. Dont hold back. Tell him, in front of the doctor, how scared u are. Scared for him & for urself.
"knows that it is not a "choice" but somewhat a foregone conclusion that his life will end soon - he spoke of the "path has been set." This man is screaming for help. He cant c a way out of his torment.
GET PROFESSIONAL HELP NOW. TONIGHT!
_________________________
Everyone is a genius! If you were to judge a fish, by its ability to climb a tree,
it would think it was stupid all of it's life.
~Albert Einstein

Top
#410149 - 09/14/12 09:18 PM Re: Suicidal.... [Re: desertmouse]
desertmouse Offline


Registered: 02/09/11
Posts: 9
Thank you, blacken!

Top
#410150 - 09/14/12 09:19 PM Re: Suicidal.... [Re: desertmouse]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Desertmouse,

Survivors struggle with extremes in abandonment, rejection and destruction. It may be that he is currently feeling any of these three and maybe all of them concurrently. He is on this path, he needs to make the choice to get help, or this cycle will continue. The decision to start and to continue to get help must come from him alone.
You can use words like "you are scaring me" to help him understand he needs to be responsible for his well being as well as within the relationship with you.
dm, you need the support of a group that focuses on self awareness, self care and finding your identity. You love him, period. You want the best for him, that is obvious. Your best, your love can be such that it empowers you and him to healthy interactions, productive and encouraging recovery and personal boundaries that let's him recover. Please find support groups like CODA and AL-ANON for you.

If he specifically plans his demise, using words to describe an action or a device that could hurt him, you have no choice but to call the police. I have had to call the police twice in just such a situation, and the results have been very good. That he is speaking about something he cannot control may be "catastrophizing" the definition is here: http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/Catastrophizing.html

My heart reaches out to you in this difficult time desertmouse,

Sam
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

Top
#410152 - 09/14/12 09:22 PM Re: Suicidal.... [Re: desertmouse]
desertmouse Offline


Registered: 02/09/11
Posts: 9
Thank you, sasuva. I will keep you all posted!

Top
#410154 - 09/14/12 09:43 PM Re: Suicidal.... [Re: desertmouse]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6872
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: desertmouse
Dear all,
I have posted here before, and I apologize for this message being short and to the point, but - - - I need advice on how to help my husband to get help asap. He told me tonight that he has been depressed for the past 3 months, and that he just knows that it is not a "choice" but somewhat a foregone conclusion that his life will end soon - he spoke of the "path has been set." Like there is no other choice for him. So, to be honest, I don't know what to do other than I need to get him help asap. Where do I start, take him to a hospital, online chat from 1in6.org?

Thanks!


When I first recovered memories of the abuse and torture I experienced at the camp, I occasionally had some thoughts of compulsion to suicide. (This was many years ago, so don't worry.) I realized that the way out for me was to tell someone as soon as the thought came to me. Once I called my wife, the next time I called the T. The third time I couldn't find either of them to call, so I called the family doctor. None of them could really do anything. It was a matter of getting the thought out of myself to someone responsible. It worked.

Puffer

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.