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#410127 - 09/14/12 06:01 PM Need Serious Support
kevin8512003 Offline


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 8
Hello All,

I just wanted to write to you to let you know where I am. I relapsed again, and this time it was worse. I really have no answer to why I chose to drink other than that I just chose to. My friends said everything was fine... but I am still really embarrassed and scared. I am now making sure I dont put myself in places where people are drinking. I have to avoid places for now. My OCD waants me to investigate further, but what should I do.

I just wanted to mention the stress level is high... I am full student, my mom moved down and she is a major burden.

Finally, and where I need the most support is that I am in the middle of working with the police in turning in my perp.

I am very stressed because of this and I could use some SUPPORT, ADVICE, and LOVE

-Kevin

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#410137 - 09/14/12 08:06 PM Re: Need Serious Support [Re: kevin8512003]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
hey Kevin, hang on man.
It is not difficult to fall to old challenges if you are under so much stress. Many of us have some "bed" habit that we use as escape from reality and some difficult feelings frown
It is good that you came here for support.
Don't be hard on yourself, please try to calm yourself. It could be great if you could regularly do things that relax you. You need some positive move from stress.
Maybe breathing exercises ?
Here is the link, it is simple and very helpfull:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=378397#Post378397
Keep sharing with us!
Here is my hug for you
(((Kevin)))
_________________________
My story

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#410138 - 09/14/12 08:17 PM Re: Need Serious Support [Re: kevin8512003]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3322
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Kevin - you got my love and support. i'll leave the advice to those who have more experience in AA type programs and techniques.

just be aware that we are all behind you when it comes to getting a perp. Picture this vast crowd of like-minded friends cheering you onward! you are not just doing this for you - but for all of us - and for all the potential victims that may be saved. i don't want that to put any additional pressure on you - but instead to encourage you to keep calm and keep your eyes on the goal.

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#410142 - 09/14/12 08:47 PM Re: Need Serious Support [Re: kevin8512003]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
110% behind you Kevin. Of course your stress level is high...and, yeah, embarrassed and scared comes with the territory. Dunno what the situation is with Mom, but if she's in need of support and is able, she should seek it for herself IF POSSIBLE. Can't answer for school, but I hope you're not on a full sched.

Okay, I'll say it. You're not Superman...and that may have more to do with the OCD. What are your priorities?

A suggestion, too, if it's taking a toll on your sobriety - I won't get into your program since you already know what to do - but you might consider putting off whatever you can w/police and perp. Definitely let them know how this is affecting you and that you need some leeway to do whatever you have to do for yourself. Get a buddy to back you up if necessary. Hell, what am I saying? Of course it's necessary.

lol {{{{{{{Kevin}}}}}} take what you like and leave the rest, m'kay?

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#410160 - 09/14/12 10:51 PM Re: Need Serious Support [Re: kevin8512003]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1490
Loc: New England
Dear Kevin,

You have the full support of all here. Whatever you are going thru you will find the strength to bear up under it. I am a recovering alcoholic with 15 years of sobriety and I can assure you, if I can do it, anyone can. Just focus on one day at a time. Forget your slip and don't worry about tommorrow. just get thru today and you've done your job. If youer not in AA I highly reccomwend you try it. It will give you additional support in ALL your struggles.

And BTW I also have OCD. You're not alone my friend. Keep posting.

Gary
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#410167 - 09/14/12 11:35 PM Re: Need Serious Support [Re: kevin8512003]
Randy65 Offline


Registered: 04/14/12
Posts: 109
Loc: Jonesboro, Arkansas
Hi Kevin,
I am not familiar with a drinking relapse, but from what I see you are an amazing person that is stronger than what you think. I'm so proud you came here to get support and acknowledged the drinking which is brave. Sometimes we are harder on ourselves. I know you are going through a lot right now but, please focus on the positives that have gotten you this far. It is this same strength that will get you through this. It takes a bigger person to ask for help than it does to keep running away from life like I was.
Stay strong because I believe in you!
Randy
_________________________
My Story of CSA
http://youtu.be/EJIlKCRL_6M

My Story of CSA: The Day God Entered My Heart
http://youtu.be/vpCWEp6u9zM

My Story of CSA: "Flashbacks" (Trigger Caution)
http://youtu.be/xLd5Fe-MxVM



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#410210 - 09/15/12 02:56 PM Re: Need Serious Support [Re: kevin8512003]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 838
Loc: Kc,Mo
yo buddy all you can do is get back on the saddle again . This the only thing you can do . There is No time for self pity there is only negative in that . You have to find the positive and that positive begins with you getting back up dusting yourself off and going back at it . It is not the end of the world like you feelings and emotions are tying to convince you it is simply the beginning of sobriety one day at a time .

lets put it this way and not to use as an excuse but every day sober is a victory no matter how many days . I got up many many many many many many many many times and I can say sense Sept 29 2001 I have been sober , so I can say it is possible and coming up on another year but I know it is still one day at a time I am not immune to slipping and falling I just take it one day at at time . Just start your day off with day 1

That is all you can do my friend this is a tough battle one we can win and you can win . I believe in you shit happens that phrase is true so just get back up and fight

Good luck and God bless you and your efforts

Thank you for this opportunity to come before you Christ for we know you hear the prayers of those who love you and right now in faith I pray for the enemy to flee for him to have no influence in Kevin's mind that you will begin to give him strength to realize we are human and we fail but we will have the ultimate victory because you said so.

let this be a learning season for him to learn from his mistakes not to be taken down the same road and for him to be able to discern the times and the pot holes that come his way .
we ask for forgiveness for any sins committed against himself and against you o Lord . send the comforter to comfort him in his time of need and fill him up with a renewed spirit for your mercies are Renewed DAILY so we except this renewal in the NAME of JESUS AMEN


Edited by nltsaved (09/15/12 02:57 PM)
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#410216 - 09/15/12 06:30 PM * [Re: kevin8512003]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:10 PM)

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#410234 - 09/15/12 09:14 PM Re: Need Serious Support [Re: kevin8512003]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1341
Hi Kevin,

You mention some major stressors - being a full time student, working with the police on the investigation, and your mother.

What I don't hear you mentioning is a lot of support.

If it has not been offered to you, ask to speak to the Victim Advocate. The Victim Advocate is supposed to be there for you as you go through the legal process. There might even be free therapy available to you through the Victims of Crime Compensation Board. The Victims Advocate can help you with that, too.

You do not say whether or not you are in therapy. If you cannot afford therapy, you may be able to get some help through the counseling center at school or through the student health center.

You have a lot going on right now and seemingly little outlet for the stress.

I know as a full time student that time is something of which there is never enough. But you need time, wherever you can find it, to give yourself a mental break from the stress and engage in something that will help re-energize you. Whether you do that through exercise, meditation, etc. is up to you.

The reason why your mother moved down to where you are or why she is making herself a burden to you is not clear. You may have to have a difficult conversation with her and talk about boundaries. Even well meaning people can cross boundaries and end up doing more harm than good.

Create a safe space around yourself. Let people know when they may and may not contact you. Tell them your priorities and when you are available. You have to be in control of your life and not try to fit your priorities around others' demands for your time and attention. (Though that is difficult when dealing with law enforcement.)

Just because the phone rings does not mean you have to answer it. Voicemail is your friend.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish - it is a necessity.

If you need to hide in the library, then do so. Do what it takes to meet YOUR needs.

((((( Kevin )))))




Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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