I'm already . Got the meds to pruve it too.

Farmer Boy was actually my amateur porn name. But that's another story. Don't know why I used it again?????



Didn't mention it before but I just feel like tooting my own horn. The fashion show was for big name brands like: Gucci, Dior, Calvin Klein, Guess, Oroton, Bolle, Addidas.... The graphics (all timed to the music) and lighting direction I did were awesome and I did make the whole show a success. At least I have that. I charged $1500 and the person in the industry I spoke to said what I did was worth $5000....So yep I was a door mat.

Thanks for your comments.

I'm so thankful for this tread. Thanks Rob. You are SOOOO not alone in this!

Definitely not alone there Rob. I can pinpoint where my self worth crashed too. I was in early elementary school after I got pulled out of class and tested for learning disabilities. It happened when the board of ed's called my parents and I into the office and dropped the 20+ page report on my parents. I have the report at home now because I got it from my parents when I went back to college in 2005 and tried to obtain financial aid. I read it for the first time myself then and saw how it's one damning, damning document. They might as well have just said, "Dear Parents, we've completed our assessment of your son and determined he's a total retard," and saved the other 23 pieces of paper they used. So I became my parents "defective first child" - those were their words - because I was a screwup and everything unraveled at home, at school, etc. and it became open season, and the CSA perps went right ahead and took advantage.

Those muther-fukers! Public schools are hell-bent on destruction. i'm sick and tired of watching them fk people over. Nothing has changed since I was a kid, cept you can't bring yer .22 rifle to your locker anymore, for after-school target shooting.

I can't imagine reading that report man. I just can't. i know there were stacks of paper on me, as I was deemed a "chapter 766 kid" in massachusetts.

I'll tell you one thing though. I was SHOCKED outta my mind as to how horribly some adults would speak to a kid when no one was looking. There were adults in my world who fully spoke their mind to me and tried to get me to jump from a bridge.

One fkr, who hated my family's wealth, said I was lucky my wheelchair-bound mother didn't abort me. Others called me evil, loser, criminal, and just fully demeaned me into an iron fortress of dissociation, and fear of adults...and confirmation that I was a space alien.

but I guess it ought to be no real shock given the proportion of adults who wanna rape little boys and girls.

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