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Not that I know of. I'd suggest sertraline (which takes a while to work) for the long-term and clonazepam for the short-term. I think it might be addictive. BUT MAN DOES IT WORK!!!! I didn't like buspar. It made me feel high.

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Sounds to me like you want flashbacks. Let me tell you, that you don't want them because they are emotionally crippling. You don't need flashbacks to make your abuse 'real'. You believe it happened, and that's enough. Heal well friend.

Daniel

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I don't know anything that makes the flashbacks come back. I assumed that you presented that as a problem. I don't like flashbacks. I find them crippling and painful as shit. I think that flashbacks become common as you start therapy, but the meds I talked about are all to help you learn to deal with your stuff in a positive and straightforward way, and eventually to avoid the flashbacks altogether.

I honestly don't really know what you mean by being in limbo. Like you want to know what happened? Exactly? I don't know. I don't have any question about what happened to me. I can remember it. I don't like to, but what you're talking about, maybe, is how to recover memories. I don't know. I suppressed my memories actively. Like I ignored things. And I kept them away by not admitting what they were. I chose to think phrases like, "Fucked up shit went down at...." Instead of "that person named ... sexually abused/raped me at so and so's house when I was in fourth grade." When I was honest about what had happened, I relived it to a certain extent all the time. I remembered specific moments, like when he was raping me or whatever. And I had specific and horrific physical memories about the same times. But shit, none of it had been forgotten. I had just buried it and pretended like it hadn't happened.

Good luck. I find your questions confusing. And don't worry about disrespecting or offending anyone.

Maybe this would be something to talk about with a therapist?

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Actually, EMDR might be a good route for you to get ahold of those memories. Thank you for sharing, for telling more of your story. I think I understand what you were asking. It sounds to me like you're in a crappy place, maybe with or around your abusers, or at least those who maybe enabled your abuse, on purpose or not. Do you have a safe place to go? Also, I used to have horrific dreams. And I kept a notebook next to my bed, and a pen, and I would, with my eyes still closed and the lights still off, wake up and lie there with the dream fresh in my mind... and I'd scribble down everything I could remember. It really improved my retention of the dreams. Its important not to have a light on, as the dream will vanish with the light. It's important to keep your eyes closed. Don't worry about writing over your writing. You'll be able to figure it out later. Good luck.