traffic hurries through the intersection
as if their lives depended
   on reaching the other side
salmon headed to spawning grounds

bodies walking through the stores
eyes glazed over as they search
must find that one thing
that will make life complete

violence, hatred, dispair
the news floods the airwaves
with its toxic messages
to hungry consumers who live
for that final score

like a top, spinning
lightly tapping into an obstacle
before twirling away
a slight wobble as energy wanes
difficult to maintain the path
when nothing
   is constant

in a world of millions
   alone
in a city of thousands
      alienated
an observer of everything
         partaker of none

forsaken
adrift in a sea of nothing
valueless and empty

and so very, very tired

today brought this back to the forefront
full force
again

wow. i have lived like this for many years.
i could maintain alienation for very long time periods.
it was easy, painless, but desperate and lonely.
it was mostly illusion, because something always seemed to sneak though my shield. something always mattered.

survival without emotional connection is like window shopping without money. you're looking through the glass at something you can't have. it is like being homeless and hungry, watching a family picnic in a public park, or walking by sidewalk cafes full of happy diners.

you are not welcome, you are not invited.
outcast, exile, reject.
all very bad feelings.

anyway, great poem.