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#409893 - 09/12/12 08:26 AM How to start?
peroperic2009 Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey guys,
I've been communicating with one survivor couple weeks ago and trough talk to him I've become aware that many concepts of us survivors, recovery and healing are already somehow imprinted in many of us so we understand those topics and have more or less clear picture about it but some people don't.
What in case if we are talking to someone who has never dealt with it, someone who just see plane words without broader meanings while reading for example words like: therapy, recovery, assault etc?
What if someone has lived so isolated so he is not able to connect all that in one logic frame, he just never heard before about it?
How to approach or offer help to such person?
I went trough articles offered to us here under main page but I was surprised when I've seen that in my opinion the most of them would not be helpful enough in this case. There are just too many tings which include notion of some concepts about survivors, abusers, trauma and recovery etc. frown
I'm in search for some literature, something written more or less like for children and as lees triggering as possible and I hope such approach would be comprehensive in this case.
So far the best what I've found is this brochure:
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/pdfs/nfntsx-visac-males_e.pdf
I'm sure that I'll certainly find more articles/books but I wonder have any of you guys already had such situation?
I find this topic extremely sensitive, something that could launch someone to new discoveries and to path to recovery, it could be huge step forward but it could be obstacle at same time. I guess there is no other way out beside to find it directly...

I'll add some my personal experience because I'm coming from different cultural background than the most of you guys here and I had to spend some time to be able to understand concept of 12 steps programs.
In my environment it is impossible to connect religion and addiction or healing of some traumas trough such programs. Such concept doesn't exist. I should add it is not even socially acceptable because we have three main religions, people were in wars because of it and it is taboo for centuries already to openly talk about personal believes in some social contexts. So somehow that is in a way similar I guess to case with survivor who never dealt with abuse or read about it. Just my two cents....


Pero
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#409911 - 09/12/12 09:48 AM Re: How to start? [Re: peroperic2009]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6376
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Pero

I don't know details here, but i think many/most/all of us know enough isolation in our own lives for us to feel at least a heart-twinge when we read this. Hearing this one makes me want to cry.

Deep, sustain, "career" isolation seems to evolve from necessary or imposed, to 'comfortable' to 'life-debilitating' for the extreme cases. I've seen it before in the far reaches of rural/wild New England, where a child is freely sexually abused for his entire childhood...can't identify nor connect with others, withdraws deeper and deeper into his own world and own definitions of "survival."

I have NO idea what to read, but there have to be Abnormal Psychology articles out there...possibly in a near-by University library? The internet does not allow much free access to the true scholarly journals. Amazon however, does sell everything imaginable.
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#409930 - 09/12/12 12:24 PM Re: How to start? [Re: peroperic2009]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Thanks Robbie,
I'm searching for some material that will be suitable for reading for such person who lived in completely controlled environment for long time frown
His view on world is very strange and difficult to catch, just occasionally it was possible for me to see it.
I'll look on Amazon too, it is just I'm kind of worry would most of offered books be too difficult material...
But I truly believe in humans as very capable beings, we can achieve much more that we can think.
Please don't feel sad because of all this, some HUGE and positive steps are already made, it is incredible journey smile

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