So, I started T again last Thursday with the same Christian counselor I had before. She's very good and says God is telling her stuff I need to do. I'll do whatever she thinks I need to because I trust her and God. I don't want to be doing this, but I know the alternative holds nothing good for me so I'll keep going forward. I know now too there will be a day when this sadness will be gone for good, permanently. It will just take some work getting there.

Stay positive Buff. There is some reason y'all have been linked together. Beat of luck bro

Thanks everyone. With all the support I get here, with my counselor and through the few friends at church who know about this, I will do my best to stay positive and sort it all out. I'm ok with it not being easy, because I understand now that is just part of the process. I have gotten this far and will not turn back.

Thats why windshields are bigger than rear view mirrors. It is more important to see where you are going than where you have been.

Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe
-John 20:29

I have to share this. When I first reconnected with God, I came to understand and say quite proudly that I am not longer defined by who "they" said I was. Yesterday I realized that I was NEVER defined by who they said I was. I am becoming less afraid to step out and testify, and I will get to that point where I can do that. Things still hit me like emotional waves, and it still hurts but I am moving forward. Knowing now what I learned yesterday will help me to get to where He wants me to be.

Great and I am soo happy for you my brother. I was hit with a big ole smile when I read this. Thanks for sharing and I am glad to see you growing and God working thru you.

I'm praying to God to help me, as I can't deal today. He can, and tomorrow will be better, has to be...

Call out to God for help. God works. Call upon Him. Just say: "God help me".

That's what I did at age 15 when I was at the end of my rope. I was all alone. I found an empty classroom during lunch and cried. God answered. Monday I sought help from the social worker, who arranged for me to have speech therapy. Another boy came up and asked me to eat lunch with them. That is, to be in their clique. No more tears.

Puffer

What works for me brother. I turn on some good worship music and start praising God. Then that leads me to a place where my prayer seems so direct and in tune with God. When it is a very difficult issue I recently fasted and it was amazing how God moved in my situation. The battles we far have already been won in Jesus name. We just pray and claim that victory brother. I hate that you are struggling but I know the struggle solver and you do too. The devil comes at us hard especially when we are believers. It is written tho that if you rebuke him in the name of Jesus that he must flee. Not may flee or should flee. He must flee. God cast him out of heaven like a bolt of lightning. He don't want no more of that brother. So praise God, then pray to God and claim your victory in Jesus name. Buff I know you can do this brother. Get personal with God. Talk to Him. I love ya brother and I know He will protect and provide. He saves and sustains. Pilate couldn't find fault in Him and Herod couldn't kill Him. The world couldn't shake Him and the grave couldn't hold Him. That's my God. Do you trust Him. Then claim that victory brother. It is already yours. We and this world will fail you but Je never will. He is imperially powerful. He is a healer and a helper. He is and always will be just and righteous. His phone is never busy. You have a direct line brother. Use it and I will too. Lets pray it out