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#40965 - 01/23/06 11:17 PM Know what I am thinking Paranoia
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I guess that ppl could read my mind, it is not so deep a subject now, but it was a big issue for many years.

If I was thinking about my past, I would think that ppl would pick it out on their radar, just as I have radar to keep me safe.

The silence that I kept for so many years, eroded a load of my judgement in life, it was like, I was so far away from my own emotional needs, and the right to live a fulfilling life.

I guess I have done enough whining for now, but these feelings really get to me sometimes,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#40966 - 01/24/06 01:04 PM Re: Know what I am thinking Paranoia
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ste,

It's not whining bro. If you have feelings about something it's all for the best to talk about them.

I don't remember feeling that people could read my mind, but I did feel like there was something about me that would give me away to anyone who looked for a second. I felt like I had a sign on me. I also absolutely hated being naked in front of other boys (changing rooms at swimming pools, gym class, etc.), for the same reason.

I wonder if the feeling that others could pick you up on their radar has something to do with the feelings of powerlessness and helplessness so many of us had?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#40967 - 01/24/06 03:57 PM Re: Know what I am thinking Paranoia
george of kent Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
Our prison bars usually are, at least to a large extent, built out of our own shame and silence. I believe that speaking out is the only way to break out of that prison.
Thanks, brothers, for showing me your courage here.
Love, etc.,

_________________________
"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents

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