For me, the acting-out began as early as age 10/11 and accelerated like a Lamborghini. I had literally no "love" in my life. Meaning, I had a never-touch, NEVER hug, family. The violence and mind-molesting may as well have been 24-hours a day, as thats the way it felt due to fear of attack returning at any time.
I was engaging in near constant peer-sex outside the occasional coerced events by the four (then three) older boys (by 4-years). That was both oral and anal, and usually complete for anyone who could stand it at that age. Orgasm at an early age is either a brutal event, or a knock-out from stimulus your body is not yet prepared for.
My frequent trips to 'bed' the lead-perp (Dean, 4 yrs older) was where I could and would fully submit my health, safety and body to his hands. I was fearful. He was self-centered and rather deliberate. I was little more than warm-meat to him, and it always left me feeling hollow and self-loathing. But even there, I eventually learned to expect and enjoy my treatment, as cold as it may have been
For me, the need (need!!!) was "being done." I rarely experienced orgasm, but the submission of my "all" into a psycho-jock's hands was what I demanded and sought. My eventual mega-love for him was not mutual, and very painful for me, especially when he went off to college.
So, long story for filtering down to this: I needed to "be done," and be done forcefully and submit fearfully. I mean crap...I use to cry and shake at many of the 'sessions' with Dean, and I initiated it.
Pretty fkt-up? Hell yeah. but it became programmed into my developing and abused mind that this is my role. Its something I can do for others and do well. I gained acceptance (in my mind only) by/of the very men I could never be like.
It's probably hard, if not impossible to understand this. I'm only now beginning to successfully dissect it into viewable chunks of reason, motivation and human response.
Attempts to be a "good Teen-Christian" kept me greatly (but not fully) abstinent through 5-years of high school. I never considered myself gay. I felt no attraction to boys, teens or men. I even had a GF for a few teen years with constant sex.
I can see why a surface view of this would yield an "actually he's gay," conclusion. Or same-gender-sex = gay. Snot that simple. I bet your guy has not actual attraction to men either, but rather, just "being done...being used."
Je Suis Charlie!