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#409876 - 09/12/12 01:21 AM Re: Possible my grandson was abused. [Re: Robert1000]
Grandma Offline


Registered: 09/06/12
Posts: 11
Robert: I do not want to talk about the details of what my daughter and I observed.
In terms of my grandson talking, I told you he cannot. He will say a word here and there, but overall, he does not talk. This delayed development is actually a sign of possible abuse. In and of itself, it is not very significant, but in conjunction with other things, it can be an indicator.

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#409878 - 09/12/12 01:37 AM Re: Possible my grandson was abused. [Re: Grandma]
Grandma Offline


Registered: 09/06/12
Posts: 11
The professionals examined my grandson today, and as expected, their report was inconclusive. They cannot rule it out, but they cannot confirm abuse either. My daughter is talking about taking my grandson back into that house on Thursday.

I cannot decide for her what she is going to do, but I am very upset that he may be going back into that situation. I really cannot stop that from happening. I can advise her, I can plead with her, I can reason with her, but the decision is hers.

Since the pros did not find any conclusive proof, their is not law enforcement or child protective services involved, so it is all up to my daughter.

She is interested in trying to save her relationship. YUCK. How can you think your BF molested your son and still want a relationship with him? I do ont understand it. Before all this happened, they were in counseling for their relationship because he is a habitual liar. He lies about everything, including lying.

She did not trust him before all this. He screwed her out of thousands of dollars already. But she does not seem to see any of that.

I feel so sad and sick.

I do not know how to help this precious little boy.

My heart is breaking for him. I feel helpless. He cannot speak for himself. I am trying to advocate for him, but I do not have the power.

Please continue praying for my grandson. If you have an idea of how I can help protect him, PLEASE share it with me. Thank you.

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#409895 - 09/12/12 08:40 AM Re: Possible my grandson was abused. [Re: Grandma]
CdnDW Offline


Registered: 08/24/12
Posts: 105
Even if she continues with the bf, would she consider therapy for herself or attending CoDa meetings? Maybe you could offer to help pay the therapy so there are no obstacles preventing her? Whether he is abusing the son or not, it certainly sounds like she is very codependant to the point of ignoring her son's needs and basic protection. She has a multitude of choices to continue in the relationship without putting her son at risk, but she is not choosing them because she is afraid of being left by him. If someone stays in any relationship for fear of being alone or abandoned by the person for protecting their rights and needs and those of their children, then they are codependant. Maybe if she starts therapy, there would be a hope for her to change her decisions and make a better future for her and her son. The following is a link to a website about codependancy. My best to you and your precious family.

www.joy2meu.com
_________________________
I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride, I am the sky
- Audioslave

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#409920 - 09/12/12 10:47 AM Re: Possible my grandson was abused. [Re: Grandma]
Robert1000 Offline


Registered: 06/27/12
Posts: 336
You and your family have my prayers every day. If I were you, I'd consider looking into resources for yourself, too. You're in a horrible position, and you'll have to walk a thin line to keep access to your grandson so you can keep him as safe as can be. Good luck. Let's pray that your worst fears are unfounded, but whatever the case, that little boy needs your help.... Bob

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#409927 - 09/12/12 12:02 PM Re: Possible my grandson was abused. [Re: Grandma]
pufferfish Online   embarrased
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6806
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Grandma

I cannot decide for her what she is going to do, but I am very upset that he may be going back into that situation. I really cannot stop that from happening.

You can consult the person I refer you to below. She's a good woman and very smart. She will try to help you.
Quote:

She is interested in trying to save her relationship.

Unfortunately this is fairly common. The "mother" will choose her "lover" over the child.
Quote:

they were in counseling for their relationship because he is a habitual liar. He lies about everything, including lying.

This may indicate that he is a sociopath. Bad news!
Quote:

She did not trust him before all this. He screwed her out of thousands of dollars already.

Another indicator that he is a sociopath. Worse news!
Quote:

My heart is breaking for him. I feel helpless. He cannot speak for himself. I am trying to advocate for him, but I do not have the power.


My advice: Ask another mother who has gone through this successfully. She goes by "didi" . Here is her profile:

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showprofile&User=5807

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...0131#Post360131

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...7669#Post237669

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...5298#Post285298

Leave a message in her PM box and she will see it soon.

At the bottom of the box you are reading this in , you will see another little box that says: Send a PM. Click on that.

Puffer



Edited by pufferfish (09/12/12 12:11 PM)

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#409934 - 09/12/12 12:36 PM Re: Possible my grandson was abused. [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Online   embarrased
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6806
Loc: USA

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#409935 - 09/12/12 12:38 PM Re: Possible my grandson was abused. [Re: Grandma]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3598
Loc: South-East Europe
Puffer you are awesome smile!
_________________________
My story

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#409978 - 09/12/12 09:59 PM Re: Possible my grandson was abused. [Re: Grandma]
pufferfish Online   embarrased
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6806
Loc: USA
Do his eyes look OK? Does he have strabismus (lazy eye)?

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