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#409274 - 09/06/12 08:59 PM Worms in the Summer Grass *TRIGGERS*
BeautyforAshes Offline


Registered: 08/27/12
Posts: 17
Loc: Central PA
Worms in the Summer Grass


It isnít that far into June when the heat stings soft
Spring away, and my family migrates to the sticky lake
to cool ourselves beneath the shade of a beach-umbrella.
Rusted fishhooks and burnt grills surround the lake

like ants around a rotting tree. The sky floats across
the water, as I rub my hands on wet grass,
dripping sweat and bugs. Silence unnerves me.
He brings us here, like a family affixed, but

the worms and I know differently.

He rocks on water-logged sneakers near lake-weeds
where the mosquitoes hover and snails are born.
I concentrate on threading a dying worm and imagine itís him.
The ground around makes a sucking sound

like a dry drain. I sip from an empty can praying
he slips into the water. He sits away from us,
over where the boy from Rochester Farm choked
and died a few years back. I never knew that boy.

At some point his presence wakes me.

He hovers over the bed; I notice my sheets peeled back
towards the wall. Encumbered by his weight, I await the end,
clenching my eyes as his hand holds onto the mattress.
My line jerks and I reel in a throw-back. I wait until nightfall,

when we will travel back to the house,
and I will scrub ground worms from beneath
my fingernailsóand he will come into the bathroom
to pee with me, the worm burdened around a rusted hook.



Edited by BeautyforAshes (09/09/12 10:38 PM)
_________________________
victim-->survivor-->adaptor-->thriver-->OVERCOMER.

Taking it back one day at a time.

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#409321 - 09/06/12 11:12 PM Re: Worms in the Summer Grass [Re: BeautyforAshes]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3493
Loc: somewhere in Africa
incredibly beautiful and painful - you are an artist with words!

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#409397 - 09/07/12 03:12 PM Re: Worms in the Summer Grass [Re: BeautyforAshes]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 08:34 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#409403 - 09/07/12 03:50 PM Re: Worms in the Summer Grass [Re: traveler]
BeautyforAshes Offline


Registered: 08/27/12
Posts: 17
Loc: Central PA
Dear Lee,

Thank you for reading and for taking the time to comment. I'm glad this worked for you. I've been writing poetry as a means to heal since high school. I believe the arts, or sport, or just about anything can help survivors turn what happened into something we control and is made beautiful by that choice.

Blessings!

B4A
_________________________
victim-->survivor-->adaptor-->thriver-->OVERCOMER.

Taking it back one day at a time.

Top
#409404 - 09/07/12 03:54 PM Re: Worms in the Summer Grass [Re: bodyguard8367]
BeautyforAshes Offline


Registered: 08/27/12
Posts: 17
Loc: Central PA
Dear G,

I'm glad you made a connection with this poem, but I'm not glad about what that connection was for you. I remember it all too well. I don't expose myself to my own boys. There may be a time when that's appropriate, and there may not. The fact that you and I weren't afforded the basic privacy to take care of our own bodily function speaks to the grooming tactics used by our abusers.

May you find comfort, peace and healing.

B4A
_________________________
victim-->survivor-->adaptor-->thriver-->OVERCOMER.

Taking it back one day at a time.

Top


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